Sometimes, I just get enraged when I think about the way that Black people, especially Black women are mistreated.I’ll be fine and then something will trigger my anger, it can be a news report, a book, a movie, a comment muttered in public, a racial slur…and I’ll become so angry that it feels like I’m burning on the inside. It’s not a pleasant experience at all.
Yesterday, I posted the story about the Black woman who was shot by police, while holding a fake gun and I mentioned the lack of coverage by media outlets and the lack of support from the Black community.
Black people are not valued and Black women are even less valued. I believe the reason Black people are not valued is because Black people do not have any economic infrastructure. We are dependent on white (or asian) people for too much and we give our money away too eagerly.
Black people are a poor group, as a collective we are a poor racial group. We are more likely to be poor and more likely to be in prison. We do not control enough business, we do not control banks, we do not control media and our neighborhoods are colonized. Even middle class Black people spend most of their money outside the Black community. Even the hair care industry is controlled largely by non-black people. Although, since natural hair has made comeback, more Black small business owners are seeing a boom in business. However, how long will it be before white corporations infiltrate the natural hair care industry and try to peddle us products and drive small black companies out of business.
I make a conscious effort to purchase my natural hair products from black owned companies like oyin handmade and Naturalicious, but unfortunately white companies are already starting to take notice of the natural hair tend and I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before massive cosmetics companies buy out and overtake small, black businesses. Sheamoisture, recently sold half their company to a white corporation. I wish I could say that Black people would support Black business, but it doesn’t seem so.
I hear so many negative remarks from Black people about black business being “ghetto” or not wanting to support a business that is owned by a Black person. Unfortunately, many Black people aspire to belong in white society. That means living in a white neighborhood, going to white schools, belonging to white clubs and fraternities, marrying white people and often times as soon as Black people earn some money, the first thing we do is move to the white neighborhoods (even though often times we’re not wanted there) send our kids to white schools, join white organizations and now a days some Black people aspire to marry white people not because they’re so madly in love, but because they’re indoctrinated with the belief that anything white is superior. I am sure we can all think of some Black men (and Black women) who have this mentality.
Consequently, Black people are poor because we don’t support black business, generally speaking and we don’t conserve our money and invest in our communities.
So of course when you’re poor, you have less power and influence. SO, Black women aren’t valued because we’re at the bottom of the economic totem pole, so we don’t control our media representation (which is why some people view us as unattractive, asexual and inferior mammies/jezebels), we don’t control the prison system (which is why we’re going to prison at a faster rate than any group), we don’t control the education system (which is why so many black children are failing in school).
As long as we have weak economic infrastructure and as long as we continue to uphold white supremacy, Black women won’t be valued and when we get beaten up by police officers, when we get killed, when we get trafficked, when we go missing, no one will care or very few will.
So what do I as a Black woman do, I deeply resent this system, yet what can I do? If I am not valued as a Black woman, within my own community, if Black men are missing by and large from the community because of the racist prison industrial complex, where does that leave me? Where does it leave other Black women?
Do we keep fighting and marching with little to no support?…or do we live our own lives? This is a deep conflict within me. I feel like there’s so little support for Black women in the black community that…and I feel incredibly guilty for saying this…sometimes I just wonder if it’s worth even trying, why not just settle marry whatever race of man and live in his world, his community and let it all go.
But, for one thing, there is a part of me, that if I married a non-black, namely white man, would feel deeply resentful of his privilege and I know that I would never be fully accepted into his world and I also know that I could never truly disconnect myself from my Black people.
So, what do I do?
Does anyone else feel this way?