Guest Post: At the Heart of it, I love Interracial Relationships, But…

This is  guest post from Bronj:
At the heart of it I love interracial relationships.  I think there is something pleasingly peculiar about the union of two people you wouldn’t expect to connect based on their  skin color (and presumed cultural background).  I look at some interracial couples and can’t help but be intrigued, wondering how they met and what common ground they find in each other.  Many interracial couples have the added pressure of receiving all kinds of grief from people who don’t think they should be together based on their races, and I think that it’s kind of cool for a couple to decide to deal with this, when they could avoid it by simply choosing to be with someone within their race.  I’ve described the combined preceding as pretty ‘gangsta.’

[I’m not saying that interracial relationships are better or more honorable than any other]

There have been a couple random stretches of weeks or months when I’ve been attracted to the idea of being in an interracial relationship;  I’d see a couple on the street or get to watching IR videos on Youtube and be like ‘Oh yes’.

But for the most part, my personal attitude about interracial dating has usually been that I am not particularly seeking to date outside my race, but I would have absolutely no issue with doing so if that’s how the chips were to fall.  However, I have felt a gradual change in recent years.  In the past, whenever I’d get the urge to scope out the pool on dating sites, I’d include most (if not all) races of guys in my search results. In my own profile I’d indicate that the ethnicity of my matches wasn’t important.

But these days whenever I call myself looking through dating sites I find myself checking the “black” box only, uninterested in seeing profiles of any other.  I can’t pinpoint when I started doing this, but I think it’s been a result of a growing concern I have. These days I am still open to other races and I don’t envision myself ever rejecting someone just because they are not black, but today I’m more inclined to say that I actually do have a preference for black men.  The overriding reason being that if I were to ever procreate, I don’t think I want mixed kids.

I don’t really mean that how it sounds, but I do. It’s not that I have anything against biracial or multi-racial children.  If I were to have them, I would not be embarrassed or ashamed of them or feel like I did anything wrong.  I am not all that concerned about comments from the racist and I’m not too worried about them trying to figure out where they belong.

[For the purposes of this post, when I say ‘mixed’ or ‘biracial’ I mean children with one black (or mostly black) parent and a non-black parent]

In the past, I had no reservations, whatsoever, about possibly having a biracial kid. I think on some level I felt like I’d be proud to have biracial children, them being evidence of my ‘gangsta’ awesome relationship and beliefs about racial equality. But I hate the way (black) people tend to view biracial/mixed people and now I think about how this disgust may affect my own hypothetical biracial children.

I am most concerned about my own capability to raise well-balanced biracial children with healthy self-esteem.

Genetics can flip the script and a biracial kid can possibly come out looking totally one race or the other, but more than likely that child is going to be a middle combination of their parents with the ‘typical’ mixed kid phenotype–lighter skin, curly hair, possibly lighter colored eyes.

I can’t stand how (some-many) black people can hear news of a black person dating a non-black person or having a biracial kid on the way and comment that the child is going to be so pretty, with no consideration of what the parents look like.  All they know is the child will likely be light skinned with loosely-textured hair and as far as they are concerned, that’s beauty.

I realize this is a result of historical conditioning and brainwashing, and I understand it .  I used to be the same way before I turned 18. I felt it a compliment to be described as light-skinned (which I’m not) and I wouldn’t flinch at someone talking about ‘good’ hair or their disdain for someone whose skin is just ‘too black.’  I know that everyone just can’t ‘see the light’, so to speak but it really gets on my nerves.

Some black people act like being less black makes for a better quality negro.  Like diluting out the black makes for a prettier and smarter person, as if being black is an unfortunate state of being that requires fixing. And it’s funny how with other races it’s the opposite….if their child wants to have a kid with a black person, it’s an embarrassment and a shameful downgrade.  And black people go ga-ga over the privilege of having some non-black blood in their bloodline because the kids will be so pretty (read: less black).  I think something is wrong with that.

The implied suggestion that a black person cannot achieve a pretty child unless with the “help” of a non-black person should be insulting. As if a black person has little to no beauty to offer a child and is incapable of producing beauty with another black person. Most black people are not light-skinned, and to be so proud or excited about having a mixed kid just because he/she will not look ‘that’ black, seems kind of off to me.  Your skin is dark and your hair is nappy (and i don’t say that in a derogatory way), but you’re so happy that your kid doesn’t look like YOU or have those features you have.  I don’t think that’s right.

No black child should feel like they aren’t cute or as worthy as a biracial child and that’s what black people tend to teach their children even if they don’t say it directly.

I could go on and on, but that’s not the point of this particular post.

What I just wrote about gets under my skin, something fierce.  When I overhear discussions about how someone has such ‘good’ hair or how pretty someone’s kids are going to turn out because they are biracial or how some mixed person is a golden prize, I seriously have to leave the room or plug in some earphones.  I can’t handle it. It pisses me off.

But considering the above,  I seriously question my ability to raise a biracial child to feel confident and happy about who they are, while expressing my annoyance and anger about the self-hate black people have. I don’t even have kids and it affects me so much…I can only imagine how I’d feel when it comes to ‘compliments’ concerning my own hypothetical children.

One time I was in line at the grocery store holding the baby of a friend.  The baby was black and had looser-textured hair.  A black older lady behind me kind of cooed at the baby and said that she had some ‘pretty’ hair.  I guess the appropriate response would have been ‘thank you’, but I didn’t know how to respond because my immediate thoughts go to what I explained above.

My hypothetical mixed children will notice that I bristle when I hear certain conversations describing them (or biracial people in general) positively because of their appearance.  They will see that I refuse to acknowledge typical ‘compliments’ (black) people may give them and that I’ll get weird and uncomfortable instead of agreeing and building them up, too.

And I also should mention that I have a super color-struck mother and she has to watch what she says with me because her comments can ruin my day. My mother uses the phrase “bettering the race” to describe a black person who reproduces with a non-black person. She’d love any grandchild, but I know that having a biracial one would make her feel like she won a million dollars.  Having to deal with her showing off and revering my hypothetical biracial kids would eat at me inside.

My kids will see me get so upset and if they are anything like me they will internalize all of that and wonder why they were born if I don’t ‘like’ biracial people and they may think I hate them because I’m jealous or because they aren’t more black.

And they’ll hate me for making them feel like they have to downplay their greatness, beauty and excellence.  (Even though I’d never have my kids stay down a notch, they might take it that way).

It may seem that I’m over-analyzing things, but it is very, very important to me that my future children feel like I’m the one person who adores them and thinks that they are beautiful, smart and awesome, if no one else does.  I know first-hand how frustrating and sad it is to lack that parental emotional support and affirmation, and I wouldn’t ever want my children to feel like that on my account.

I think it would be a huge challenge for me to raise biracial kids who are comfortable in their own skin and confident, while at the same time sending the message that they are not a step above black people, as society would have them to believe.

I think I’d have an easier time teaching a child to be black and proud. I feel like with a black child I’d instill that they are beautiful and to appreciate and delight in what makes them black despite what society says….while with a biracial kid I feel like I’d be kind of shooting down the praise that society already gives them, which could be confusing and screw her/him up. I feel like I’d have to go along with the current to preserve their self-perception and I don’t think I can do that.  I think it would be hard to make them understand that they are beautiful because they are, and because they are mine, and not just because they look less ‘black’.

Then, not to mention how people will look at me and think I just wanted “pretty” kids or practically commend me for even being able to pull a non-black guy, considering how undesirable black women are and everything (/ sarcasm) .  I think it would be just too much for me and I don’t know if I could see myself being a happy person when I’d encounter the ignorance way more than I do now.

Although it’s something I’m concerned about, I don’t see myself excluding a guy based on race.  But still, I’m not going out of my way to do it.

Disclaimer #1:  I’m not saying that biracial people are not beautiful.  Just that there’s beauty (and ugly) in any racial combination and that black features/traits aren’t what makes someone less than.

Disclaimer #2: I’m not saying that ALL black people color-struck, but a good many of them are.

Do you have that same fear about having biracial children?  If you have biracial children and you feel the way I do about color-struckedness, how do you handle comments or discussions that are intended to be positive, but a product of self-hate?

75 thoughts on “Guest Post: At the Heart of it, I love Interracial Relationships, But…”

  1. “Most black people are not light-skinned, and to be so proud or excited about having a mixed kid just because he/she will not look ‘that’ black, seems kind of off to me. Your skin is dark and your hair is nappy (and i don’t say that in a derogatory way), but you’re so happy that your kid doesn’t look like YOU or have those features you have. I don’t think that’s right.

    No black child should feel like they aren’t cute or as worthy as a biracial child and that’s what black people tend to teach their children even if they don’t say it directly.”
    Soooo true! Thank God, I wasn’t raised around colorism but I do see a lot of it on american TV (I’m canadian) and it’s sad that’s part of the reason don’t watch TV. That and the fact it’s basically for WP honestly, so I just watch it online


    1. You are right! I am not against interracial relationships at all, heck, I would date a Indian or Latino man IF I dated out because they are sexy and have good moral values but why all the posts about interracial relationships? Most people prefer their own race!

      I don’t ever want to date, sex or marry White people at all. I am not attracted to them and I live among them and they think they are better than everyone that is not White. That is why I wouldn’t ever date a White person.


      1. @Adeen

        I only date within my race, also. Same race love is self-love.

        I understand that our people are in these interracial relationships for different reasons. Some Sistas want men of every race to acknowledge their beauty. Other members of our race want the secrets that all non-Black folks hold when it comes to our oppression. These why-te men and women know to monitor themselves in those relationships.

        I like what you are saying, Adeen. Why-te people are not human. They are more selfish and destructive than all around them.


  2. I enjoy interracial relationships as long as it isn’t a Black person with a White person. I don’t think Blacks should date White people because Whites are our enemies and oppressors. And I don’t like White people at all.


  3. this is too complicated for me I would not want to have biracial kids only with a person that has African ancestry like Polynesians, afro latinos, etc. I would not want half white half black kids. The blacks that are colorstruck are a lot of times from the older generation, they pass this nonsense off to their kids and it continues. I see majority of the 40 on up crowd are the ones mostly saying omg pretty hair, pretty eyes, etc, my mom has said those things about some ppl. It’s so much anti blackness it ain’t funny, I get pissed too when I hear it ,some day I will have the guts to tell them off. Then the ppl wonder why a lot of ppl in my generation are screwed up, lets see we deal with disunity in the black community, racism, colorism, anti blackness, and failing schools. The black ppl that say omg the baby would look good biracial or u bettering the race are part of the problem ,then these same ppl will wonder hmm why do some black kids think being smart is acting white. Well gee idk maybe because ur ignorant ass instilled in them that being beautiful, having good hair, good eyes, are white traits, so it’s not far off for them to connect the dots and think hmm u know what maybe being smart is for whites too. We will continue to be a mess until we confront the anti blackness in our race, u can’t be pro black and anti black. Everybody else is kinda like wtf when their kids want mixed kids but blacks are the only ones that are like yeah, like really u happy to be diluted, you happy to not be able to see yourself in your kids, you’d be happy for your child or grandkids to one day look like this

    Some black ppl need to stop faking the funk, stop saying black is beautiful then going gaga over a biracial or dam near white looking child. I get angry at this but I gotta remember where all this came from, self hate and anti blackness didn’t come from us. We lost ourselves and our pride during slavery, there was no anti blackness or colorism it was unity, family, and survival. Now its light is better, good hair, good eyes, u know what good hair is healthy hair, and good eyes are eyes that can see. Stop the madness ppl.


    1. Many Black people have self hate issues is why they date out and have these stupid, confused mixed kids. It is sad how many of us praise the looks of mixed children over full Black children. Personally I think full Black kids are much cuter than mixed kids because mixed kids look washed out due to their White genes. Anyways much of these Blacks who think lighter skin is more attractive are brainwashed by family members who think that way or the media.

      And if I do date out, I would date Latinos especially Afro Latinos because we can relate to them better and they are much more attractive than Whites too. However I wouldn’t put any mixed kids’ looks on a pedestal despite their admixture.


      1. @Adeen, you have a serious habit of parroting other people’s thoughts and catch phrases –“Amerikklan”. Also you go back and forth saying you want to date white and then you do not want to date white. You change your mind constantly, waffling back and forth, according to what you hear others say they believe. The best thing is to examine your own thoughts wants and needs and stop letting other determine where you stand on issues or what ypu want in life. Be your own person. You’ll be happier than following along with some black party line of thought.


  4. Geez that was long. Sorry guys.

    And i totally agree with you mstoogood4yall. People may think that calling out the self-hate or being upset about it is overreacting, but it’s all connected.


    1. I agree with you. I believe colorism is a byproduct of White supremacy. If you believe that light skin or biracial people look better than full Black people, then you are literally saying White people look better than Black people.

      Black is beautiful and we come in all shades. I am not condoning Blacks and Whites getting together because Whites ruin our genes and children’s looks.


    2. yes it all is connected, if there was no anti blackness amongst us we wouldn’t hurt, disrespect or kill each other. If there was no self hate amongst us we wouldn’t be hurting ourselves or doing things to change our features or saying I don’t date dark girls/men. Anti blackness comes from racism/white supremacy. We must tell the truth and shame the devil as the old folks say lol. If we don’t it will get worse, just like we can’t believe in a post racial society when we are in the same boat as we were 50 yrs ago. We should be upset about these things but we must be careful not to take that frustration out on each other. It is best that each of us work on our issues, I sometimes have issues with my self, I just call it out in my mind and change my thoughts, that is what we need to do. But at the same time some don’t think saying things like good hair, good eyes, etc are self hate. my definition of self hate is wanting to look the opposite of yourself, whether that is certain features or ur whole body. self hate is not liking what u see in the mirror even if it is one feature, self hate is lusting after somebody else’s features and wishing u had that. Self hate IS LEARNED, where are we learning it from? the media, family, friends, etc. racism/white supremacy was created so one race(whites) could separate themselves from everybody else and be looked at as the greatest. Anti blackness/self hate comes from generations of being told we are inferior and believing it. Anti blackness and self hate are what keep white supremacy going, if we are too busy going on about good hair, eyes, and who is better we will not be at our best. we will not be focused enough to destroy the root of our issues which is white supremacy. We must take care of the anti blackness and self hate within ourselves and communities or we will not win the war against white supremacy.


  5. @mstoogood4yall

    I think colorist is worse among blacks under 30. People between 65 and 40 were influenced to varying degrees by the “Black is Beautiful” aesthetic of the 1960s. I blame rap/hip hop for the resurgence of in-your-face colorism.

    Link to article on colorism in rap:

    Excellent pdf by the Association of Black Psychologists on healing colorism in black girls and women:

    Link to site about healing colorism:

    Mike Mose’s book about colorism “One Drop Too White”:


    1. Ok, I do see ppl of my generation are colorstruck , the older generation goes on about eyes and hair, so the kids see and hear those things. All i’m saying is it starts with the parents, if parents make comments around their kids that light skin and good hair are beautiful, while their own kids don’t have those features, those kids will grow up and think i’m not good enough my own parent did not see the beauty in me. I’ll admit my own issues, my mom used to talk about good hair and pretty eyes so I started to just be attracted to men with those features, which is the opposite of me. Now that I’m working on it I am seeing black as beautiful and men that look like me are more attractive to me now. I do see all the mess in our generation but it did not start with us and if we don’t work on it, it won’t end after us it will keep going and getting much worse.


  6. also rap/hip hop is trash right now but it is not only to be blamed for colorism, parents need to do their job as well, if a child has a strong foundation a lot of outside stuff won’t get in, some still will but not as much. I find it weird that this trashy rap/hip hop promoting colorism and anti blackness comes at a time when black kids don’t have as many fathers in the house, I feel like all this stuff was orchestrated. I did read an article about how someone said they went to a secret meeting and the meeting was about changing hip hop/ rap into the mess it is today. Music has a lot of influence on ppl today I mean just look at how many teens are getting sick from popping molly’s at a time when most of the songs are talking about mollys before that a lot of ppl did not know what a molly was. But like I said parents play a major role in not allowing this mess into their house.


  7. This is a very interesting post. I just have four points

    1) As a health professional and a student of sociology, we have to be careful of the phrase “biracial look” as you have to make the distinction between the biology and the sociology. For example, on biological grounds, I’m a dark-skinned African-American man yet my mother is a mulatto(product of a black Trinidadian woman and a Portuguese man). From my genetic(biological) profile, I am technically biracial because my ancestry comes from two populations;the African Negroes and the Southern Europeans(Portuguese people).However, I know most people aint buying that I’m biracial statement from my dark skinned self,lol! In fact, most African Americans, outside of a possible Native American ancestor, are biracial because African-Americans are an admixed population as they are a combination of Black Africans and European ancestry;Read genetic admixture on Wikipedia. Most Africans in the diaspora are biracial (Afro-Trinidadians, Afro-Brazilians, etc.). Heck even some native Africans like the Cape Verdeans (mix of black and Portuguese) and some Namibians(blacks and Germans) are biracial. In my opinion, there is no “biracial look”. There are some mulattoes who have dark skin(e.g. Halle Berry, and Obama) and some who have very light skin(e.g Michael X). In fact, my mother has light skin and “good” hair. So any black person who goes with a non-black person wishing to have a light skin and good hair baby is very clueless of genetics and might be in for a rude awakening. Human genetics is a lottery, you never know. I have seen black couples who have one child that is light skin and one that is dark skin or the parent is light skin and the kid is dark skin. Even with black/white couples, there is no guarantee look for the offspring.

    2)My take on interracial dating is very simple. I believe that everyone has a right to be with who they feel to be with(free will) and I live and let live. And honestly, in a perfect world, interracial dating would be a nice way to learn about different cultures and see how human beings live their daily life. HOWEVER, we live in a world dominated by white supremacy and as I and one of the commenters here(Adeen) have stated before, 9 times out of 10, interracial dating is nothing more a tool to advance in the “white” world and be a little soldier for white supremacy. The evidence is clear. As I said before, when there is no human barrier to dating (e.g. speed dating, online dating,etc.), most white, Asian & Hispanic women choose white men. Why? The answer is too obvious that the white man has the highest human(social,economic,etc.) worth.Some commenters here have told me that black women do not profit from white male patriachry via interracial marriage.Fair point but even if thats not the intention of black women with white men, the as a matter of fact argument is still valid. Your white boyfriend/husband is OBVIOUSLY a white man. So yes, you are making a profit. Its like this. A basketball player plays for a championship team and never goes on the court, does he not benefit/profit from the team’s success? He is still getting a championship ring. Thats my point!

    3) I have dated interracially before( I was with white women who were Italian and Russian) however I feel that black women are my choice for long-term healthy relationships. As Adeen stated, it is very rare that a non-black female(e.g. white,Asian,etc.) would look at a black man as a mate for long-term unions,marriage, childrearing and lifelong true love. When I deal with black women from other backgrounds like Jamaican, Nigerian or Ghanaian females, I still have better relationships with them even if they have dominant/fierce personalities or other issues than dealing with two-faced non-black women

    4) I think the issue with children is interesting. Now most parents should care about two things-that their kids are physically healthy and that they could turn them into productive human beings. HOWEVER in a world of white supremacy, the fact is that darked skinned African Americans do have it harder than light-skinned blacks(light skinned Negroes have it hard also!). So, are you giving your children a better quality of life if you know that fact by trying to have light skin babies. I have read stories of dark skinned African Americans seeking lighter skinned blacks or non-blacks(I use whites as default due to the fact that most blacks who date/marry out go with whites) not necessarily because they themselves have a preference for light skin but because they would like to have lighter skinned babies to give them a better chance to advance in life when it comes to jobs, education,etc.(heck, I read that even the black militant Michael X, product of a black woman from Barbados and a Portuguese man, was told by his mother to “pass for white”). So it is a very complex issue. Every single interracial couple might not go through this but from the evidence, 9 times out of 10, it is something that has to be talked about.

    -Also, I do agree with Alchemist, younger blacks do have a color complex. I speak from personal experience.

    So my advice to blacks who are in IR unions, Do you and live your life but sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel(trying to have light skin, good hair babies) would be as I say as a New Yorker, an A subway train coming very


    1. I agree with you especially on the point about most non Black females don’t seek out Black men for longtime relationships. My little brother is fourteen and he has been brainwashed by the media and surroundings to prefer White females over his own Black females. I am a senior in high school and honestly it bothers me.

      It is sad he prefers cave women over women that look like his mother. I think he is in for a rude awakening when he gets older and one of them leave them and takes his money!

      I don’t support Black people dating White people especially Black men.


  8. Any comments on how you might raise a biracial child to have a good self-image while at the same time being blatantly upset with how black people (and other races) and society will ignorantly treat them like they are better than black? Do you even think it can be done if you (a parent) can’t sit back and hold your peace about the issue?


  9. I’m not a parent, and I know I would not be able to raise a biracial child to have a good self image. Because I am black and that is all I know. I would only know how to raise black children, because I know what that is like. I would have to tell them about anti blackness, and that they are beautiful even though society tells them the opposite, I could teach them that black is beautiful and to love their authentic selves, I would mostly be the one to affirm them. With biracial kids it would be different, I wouldn’t know how to raise them as I don’t know what its like to be praised for my features by everybody. I wouldn’t know how to balance it, I wouldn’t know how to teach them to have self love and self pride when everybody else is already doing that then they may have an over inflated ego. Biracials of today are different from the biracials of slavery, back then it was easier to raise them as they were looked at as black, now they are trying to say they are different from us and better. It was black men and black women during slavery that raised them and taught them what it meant to be black and how to act. Now they want to separate from us and whites tell them they are better than us, and some of us believe it. So no I wouldn’t know how to raise biracials to be balanced individuals because society and the media would be creating an imbalance by praising them for their features and what do parents do? Parents praise their kids, love them, and compliment them, add society and the media complimenting and praising them and they will be unbalanced. With black kids we know that we would need to praise, compliment, and love them even more since society and the media would tell them they are ugly, that is all I would know how to do. My mother used to tell me the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice, with biracials u can’t say that, or it could cause self hate in them whereas with black kids it could cause them to love themselves more. imo to raise biracials balanced u would have to take most of what u are as a black person and tone it down so they won’t have hate of their white side. U wouldn’t be able to say the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice, or black is beautiful, as they will wonder well what about my white side. I just couldn’t do it, so that is why I will not have biracial kids as I would only know how to teach them to be black, not black and white.


    1. @Mstoogood4yall

      Same here. I wouldn’t know how it is like to be biracial so why raise half White light skin mutts tainted by White blood? I wouldn’t want to do that at all! Your reasoning is one of the reasons why I want to have full Black babies not mixed mutts.


    2. It sounds like we’d have the same concerns. I think it’s possible for a black person to raise a biracial kid with a good self-image if they have the same attitude prevalent among black people, society in general, or if the ignorance doesn’t bother them that much. Obviously, we aren’t the type who can do it.


  10. @Bronjames

    I agree with mstoogood4yall 100%. Like mstoogood4yall, I’m not a parent so I cannot speak from that perspective. However, my mother is a mulatto so I do know how skin color plays out within the wider world. As a dark-skinned black male, my mother never told me anything negative(I read that some parents do make comments about their child’s skintone especially if their child is dark skinned). In fact, my mother was the one who allowed me to learn about great black nationalism leaders like Marcus Garvey and Malcolm X. Also, from sociology, I learned that women by default of gender roles are the ones that usually teach the offspring about culture, my mother is much more in touch with Afro-Trinidadian culture(e.g. steelpan, Carnival, etc.) from her mother and does not really know much about her dad’s Portuguese culture. HOWEVER, even though my mom is sometimes pro-black, she knows that as a lighter skinned black woman she has a less “threatening” look to wider white society than I do as a dark skinned black man. And like any normal human being, if you see an advantage why not take it? This is my point Bronjames, as an individual parent, you would control your own actions about how to raise your children. HOWEVER, you do not control the type of the world that we live in and this world is indeed under white supremacist rule. Your actions might be sincere and well meaning but as that old saying goes- The road to hell is paved with good intentions!

    I agree with mstoogood4yall with the biracial kid thing. You really are between a rock and a hard place. You cannot have a half black child and then expect society not to treat them better than “generic” blacks(which I find odd because as I said before, most black people in the Diaspora, myself included, have European ancestry anyway) because “generic” blacks are basically on the bottom level of human society. Honestly Bronjames, you have to ask yourself via your own personal judgement, do you as an African-American female want your offspring to have a healthy sense of their African ancestry or do you just want to give them a better quality of life via having lighter skin. Dont get wrong, there are some biracial kids that have a black parent that have an understanding of their black side and Im not saying thats its a walk in the park for light skin blacks as we know that all African-Americans do face obstacles living in a white dominated society. However, if you understand the history of European colonization and how white men having sexual relations with non-white women have created “buffer” classes(mixed race people) between themselves and non-whites, you have to see the obvious. This is not unique to the United States. This has happened in Brazil(Read about racial whitening on Wikipedia) where whites wanted to “breed out” the Afro-Brazilians so they encouraged white groups(e.g. Portuguese) to marry blacks to breed out the “negative traits” of Africans. Also, read this link about the Australian Aboriginals and the Maori(non-white groups who were also harmed by white supremacy). Its talks about how children of white men and Aboriginal or Maori women were deemed to be accepted into white society while they could care less about the “full blooded Aboriginal and Maori savages”. As I had also told mstoogood4yall, there are some Australian Aboriginal women(like African-Americans, they suffer from high unemployment, low education, poor health and high mortality) who seek out white men for partners to “save” them from the ghettos of Sydney and other Australian cities.

    Honestly Bronjames, as I said, Im not a parent so if someone who is a parent of a half black child who give you a better perspective, so be it. And since my mother is the product of a BW/WM interracial union, I cannot be against IR unions. And at the end of the day, all of us are looking for someone to share our life with, so if you enter the “swirl” game, and you find a white boy who will rub your feet,take you for that walk in the park and treat you well, do you. However, you cannot change facts and truth. This is the hard evidence-Yes, as a black woman with a white man, you will be profitting off of a corrupt system(even if thats not your intention!) giving yourself financial and social perks, and yes, if genetics swings down this road, your half white children will indeed get more opportunities, be “more cute” than generic blacks and have a better chance of having a good quality of life in terms of their education, job market, housing, etc. as they will be the “buffer” class and not be viewed as those dangerous crime prone darkie Negroes. And as a parent, you cannot change how society functions.As I said, light skin blacks do have it a bit easier than darker skin blacks. Just the evidence my dear! As I said even the Black Power leader in England during the 1960s and 1970s, Michael X, was told by his black mother to “pass for white”

    I hope that you enjoyed my two cents Bronjames, even if you disagree with me!


    1. “Honestly Bronjames, you have to ask yourself via your own personal judgement, do you as an African-American female want your offspring to have a healthy sense of their African ancestry or do you just want to give them a better quality of life via having lighter skin.”

      This question is kind of weird to me (not a weird question, just strange to answer) because when i think of my future children, yes, I hope that they have a great life, but I can’t say that genetically ‘engineering’ them to be lighter skinned to increase the chances of them having a better experience has ever been a thought I’ve ever had.

      We must remember that these kids are humans….just because they may be looked upon more favorably than not doesn’t mean that they won’t hurt or have issues or struggles like everyone else. Not to mention how as a result of the same ‘sickness’ I talked about, they will likely get some grief from black people who deep down feel like this biracial person IS better and lash out on him/her.

      I don’t deny that society in general will likely be kinder to a non-black or lighter skinned black person, but to decide to have a biracial kid (as opposed to a black-black one) mainly because they will have an easier time in life seems like perpetuating the system. Some people are okay with that…..but i couldn’t be.

      Thanks for your reply…I don’t necessarily disagree with you.


      1. @bronwynjames

        THANK YOU BRON JAMES! You are probably one of the few black females that understand my point of view
        Listen, Bron James, if you look through any of my posts(I remember Peanut made a post about how she would feel if she had a white partner), I have never said that black women should not seek out non-black men for romantic partners, future husbands or to make babies with. Why? Because I cannot make a judgement on your individual love life or the quality of your relationship if you have white boyfriend/husband/baby daddy(I use whites as the default because blacks who date outside their race usually have white partners). I dont know where you live BronJames, but take this example. Lets say you live in a super white city like Seattle, a city where the only black folks that I know of that have connections to that city are Jimi Hendrix(who is dead) and when the Seattle SuperSonics played in the NBA. Now, if you meet a white guy who will rub your feet after you had on your high heels, takes to you for a romantic view on top of the Space Needle, and treats you well, I cannot go on some extreme black nationalism or pro-black stance because you have an individual choice to be with who you feel to be with. HOWEVER, when you, Peanut or any other black female has plans to date interracially,especially with white men, and then want to know if you are profitting from white supremacy or could you still help African-Americans in our plight, I have to be truthful. And the answer is yes, you would profit from this twisted, corrupt system of white supremacy. It is not a guilt trip, it is not telling you not to date white men, IT IS THE TRUTH! Think of it this way BronJames, you being a black woman with a white boyfriend/husband and saying you want that you dont want to uphold white male privilege, it is like this
        -A cop states he wants to get rid of crime yet he has constant dealings with a Mafia boss, a drug dealer and gang leader
        -A person works for the Los Angeles Dodgers yet he gives baseball lessons to players on the Miami Marlins
        You see, it is basic common sense, its a conflict of interest issue.You cant have your cake and eat it also. There are black women who have white boyfriends or husbands that I like(e.g. Serena Williams, Bria Myles, Eve, Diana Ross) however if anyone of them has an interest in helping the black community, I would find that very bizarre. Why? As a black man, I have dated interracially before(my former romantic partner was a white girl of Italian-American heritage) and I said nothing about race because I would look extremely hyprocritical and foolish. My lips were sealed.
        U said-This question is kind of weird to me (not a weird question, just strange to answer) because when i think of my future children, yes, I hope that they have a great life, but I can’t say that genetically ‘engineering’ them to be lighter skinned to increase the chances of them having a better experience has ever been a thought I’ve ever had.
        Im glad to know that I gave you a hard question to think about, thats my job as a person who loves sociology. If you want to blog about it or share it with Peanut or any other black females, its all good.Listen Bron James, in a perfect world, interracial dating would be an amazing way to see and learn about various cultures, experience the oneness of mankind, and hopefully find a person, regardless of their background or skin color, who you could share life’s moments with. However, I’m a realist and thats not the world we live in as it is ruled by white supremacy. These are the facts- Nonwhite groups like black people(us), Native Americans, Aboriginal Australians, Maori of New Zealand, Native Hawaiians all have less education, less money, poorer health, poorer job prospects and higher mortality(death) rates than white people. And while lighter skinned blacks do indeed face racial discrimination, the fact is that light skin blacks do have an advantage over dark skin blacks. So for example BronJames, if you have a son or sons with a white man, even though they would still face hardships based on race, they would not be viewed as “dangerous darkies from South Central LA”. Or if you have daughters, they would not viewed as “nappy headed hoodrats”. Also your white partner could use you as a pawn(e.g. my girlfriend/wife/children’s mom is black, so I cant be racist!)
        Glad to know you understood my opinions and that I made you see this issue from a different light. I only comment because I know that interracial dating is somehow a hot topic within the black community(why I dont know) and I just feel that people hold a very naive view of this issue and really dont see how deep white supremacy runs throughout the world and how it affects our lives as black people. Just my two cents.


  11. Reblogged this on donatelloturtle and commented:
    This is similar to the Asian/White dynamic. Also, this post addresses many posts which hit close to home–Korean girls are always telling me that I don’t look full Korean and somehow that’s supposed to be a compliment, and always talking about how mixed babies are so cute. So does that mean then that if I have kids with an Asian girl that they won’t be cute? They’re doing themselves a disservice if their intention is to have kids with an Asian guy, as most of them are.


  12. @donatelloturtle

    You provide a very interesting point. I always wondered how interracial dating with whtes affects the Asian community since from my sociology research, the most common IR pairing is white men with Asian women. If Im not mistaken, I even read about how some Asian men see white men as a threat to their dating pool. I never knew that, I thought everything was all good.

    My point is simple. Where you find true love, good for you. However, people should not be so naive about interracial dating as it involves a deep understanding of how race affects our lives, even down to who we choose to date and mate with.


  13. @TTNYCRN, Mstoogood4yall and Bron James

    As a young, Black nationalist, I don’t believe in Black people mixing with White people or any non Whites mixing with White people. I believe that we should not intermarry with Whites and have full Black babies. Same with Asians having full Asian babies too . You see Whites are our enemies and oppressors and are only out to further their White supremacy system. They know their time is running out so they are looking for non Whites to produce with and carry out their genes so they look for non Whites who are stupid enough to date and procreate with these people.

    Interracial dating and marriage is all about Whites dating non Whites in the Western world. Nothing more nothing else. It isn’t about us at all.

    We, as a Black race, need to stick together! We really do need each other in these critical times especially during the Zimmerman trial verdict. We need to stop using these light skin mutts as a way to be accepted by Whites and everyone else. In reality, most of these light skin mutts are confused and wonder why they aren’t full Black.


  14. Adeen

    I don’t think its right to call them mutts, I mean yeah a lot of them are confused, but they are still half of our community. There were biracials that fought alongside blacks and there were some that passed for white and left us hanging. The biracials of today are more confused than the biracials during slavery and jim crow. They are confused now because whites are raising them and the media is telling them to separate from us and to be called biracial. The biracials during slavery and jim crow had no choice if they couldn’t pass but to be on our side as they were told to get to the back of the bus same as blacks. I just don’t like how now that we’ve been through all this now they want to say i’m not black I’m biracial, i’m like ok why weren’t u calling yourself biracial 50 yrs ago? Oh that’s right whites didn’t give a shit, they couldn’t say oh mr white bus driver man i’m biracial so I shouldn’t have to get to the back ,I should be in the middle or up here with u whites. They couldn’t do that, now that whites are whispering in their ear and giving them more media attention and a lot of blacks are whitewashed now they want to separate and are white identified.


    1. @Mstoogood4yall

      I know but biracials are not one of us. I don’t care if they are half Black, they aren’t full Black. Thus they can’t ever be us however I do agree with this statement:

      ”They are confused now because whites are raising them and the media is telling them to separate from us and to be called biracial.”

      That was what I wanted to point out but couldn’t because I was too caught up with thinking Black people should stick together. Yes the media is confusing them because White people in charge want to make this utopia with mixed race people and no racism in society and using mixed people as pawns to their plans. I hate it when they use mixed people against us.


      1. @Adeen

        Many of the “biracials” around me have a problem with the one drop rule. Most of the time, they have to tell you they are half this and half that, up front. They take pride in telling us that they are not completely black. Then, they get upset when they are not accepted by either race. Yts are not as attracted to them as full blooded Brothas and Sistas. A yt person will take a “biracial” over no black people at all. Why-tes usually put biracial people on pedestals to hurt our full Brothas and Sistas mentally. The biracials sometimes hurt our family trees by dating out, themselves. They turn around and influence their children to date out. So, it is best for our people not to have them.


  15. @mstoogood4yall

    Even though Adeen’s choice of words was a bit spicy, I agree with Adeen’s logic 100% here. Now Adeen could correct me if I’m wrong but I think what she is trying to say is that biracials(mulattoes) are indeed a double edge sword within our community. Speaking from personal experience with my mulatto mom who is sometimes pro-black, some mulattoes do aid us in our plight(e.g. Frederick Douglass, Bob Marley, Michael X) however they could easily flip flop when an advantage presents itself for them to join the mainstream white society. Im sure you have heard of “passing” mstoogood4yall, where the light skin blacks would join white communities and give themselves a better quality of life rather than fighting for the advancement of blacks. Thats just from an individual level. From a collective level, Adeen makes a great point on the utopian BS. For example, in England, where many Afro-Caribbean men and women have intermarried with whites and have children with, cities like London are being promoted as a “post-racial melting pot”. Yet if you look at the evidence, the Black British people are no better African-Americans. If Im not mistaken, I had posted a link that stated that Black British people and their mixed race offpsring have lower quality of life ratings than the rest of the British population. Also some other non-white communities have moderate levels of intermarriage with whites yet does their collective situation change?NO. Native Americans have a decent ratio of interracial marriage with whites yet alot of Native Americans are still poor, suffer from alcoholism and live on reservations. Australian Aboriginals have a decent ratio of also marrying whites yet alot of Australian Aboriginals, like African-Americans, are still stereotyped as being lazy, on government assistance(welfare), living in the “hood” of Sydney and other Australian cities, have poor education, less money, poorer health and die earlier than White Australians. And I know Adeen will agree with me 100% on this comment. If the “generic” black people complain racial disparities, guess what would happen? The “generic’ black people will be called a black supremacist, a racist, a fanatic, a hater and then it will be “why do want to see race?”, “its not about race” ,”stop crying about racism”, “my wife/husband is black and I have half black kids. Its like a movie script.

    I do agree with Adeen. There are many ways that white supremacy could use blacks as pawns, including interracial relationships. Remember mstoogood4yall, Frank Rizzo had black police officers yet the Philadelphia Police during the 1970s harmed black empowerment groups like the Black Panthers, here in NYC, former mayor Rudy Guiliani had a black school chief(Rudy Crew) yet had a very tension filled relationship with black New Yorkers and speaking of interracial relationships, if Im not mistaken, didnt you say you saw members of white supremacist groups who have biracial kids mstoogood4yall(correct me if Im wrong)


    1. I don’t disagree with u or Adeen I know biracials will and have been used against us, I just don’t think calling ppl names is the right way to go. Yes I did say the white supremacists have biracial grandkids and say things like i’m not racist I have biracial grandkids. And yes I know whites will use biracials as a way to say hey i’m not racist, or look I’m good with black ppl as I had a kid with one.I know about blacks passing that is what I said in my comment, that the ones that could sometimes passed and left us hanging fighting for our rights. I also know they mess the kids up a lot of times like the post abagond did on David Meyers, a biracial man that grew up thinking he had a skin condition and wasn’t black, because his white mother lied and said he have a skin condition that is why he was darker than the other kids. she messed him up, and when he found out, they disowned him.


  16. @mstoogood4yall

    Fair point. You know mstoogood4yall when it comes to black folks swirling and doing interracial dating I try to stay objective especially due to the fact that my mom is mixed.As I told you before, I’m a realist and due to that fact that I love sociology, I understand that humans have to adopt to environments to get what they need. So, if a black person lives in a very white city/place like Seattle, San Francisco, Portland or Salt Lake City, Utah I would expect if they dont want to be celibate(yea, I know that humans need sex), want kids and dont want to die alone, I would understand that they would have a white girl/boyfriend or wife/husband. I get that. However, when you hear these stories(like as you told me with the white supremacists having black grandkids or this David Myers cat) or the black woman that had problems with her white husband calling her racial slurs in bed, it amazes me when some Uncle Tom or Aunt Jemina comes around with their white partner trying to convince us that “the world is getting better”. Sure, it got better for you as you went from the ghetto to Wall St very quickly and all you had to do was be a submissive and toy soldier,lol! Thats why as a realist, I just dont buy that foolishness.

    I dont know about you mstoogood4yall but if this is the kinda of “post-racial world” that humanity is coming too, I could really say that African-Americans are a dead people. The undertakers and the cemetery gravediggers will have their day,lol!


  17. If black/white biracials seem more confused these days it’s because children are socialized in the cultures of their mothers. Before Loving Vs Virginia most black/white biracials had black mothers. Today most have white mothers and black fathers. BM/WW marriages have a very high divorce rate. Most of these kids are raised by their white mothers and relatives in mostly white communities. I’ve seen many blogs and tumblr posts by biracials lamenting racist experiences with their white mothers and relatives. The lives of many biracials raised by white relatives in not easy.


    1. @Alchemist

      I can see how it would be a hard life for mulattoes. When their relatives see them, they are instantly reminded of the relationships they truly want to have. The yt man is miserable with the yt woman. He still tries to make it work for the two of them. Most why-tes in Amerikkka are trying to stay away from us. They are reminded of how they are mutated albinos everytime we are near. As you know, albino self love is showing love to Brothas or Sistas only. They are trying so hard to love themselves as human beings, and not as mutated Afrikans with discoloration. It becomes our problem, as you know, whenever yts are left alone. Those yts still exist in this Amerikkka. So, they see us on tv and hear us on the radio. If we are not submissive to them, then they want us gone. The reason there is not a race war, right now, is because so many of our people are still doing everything in their power for them. When some of our people are not in relationships with them, they are friends. Whenever they do that, it is always to our disadvantage. Those same peckerwoods call us “racist” for staying away from why-tes. Klansmen, who see those peckerwoods enjoying the life that all yts secretly want, only get angrier at us.


  18. @Mstoogood4yall

    You are right, that is why I don’t support Blacks and Whites intermarrying at all. They are just mutts to me nothing more nothing less. They are not of us nor are they loyal to our race. These current mixed race people are raised by White mothers and family members and will be more loyal to them than to us. So why include them in our communities?

    Since they are being used against us, why just make them make their own community apart from the Black Community? Besides they are not full Black and most of the ones today have no allegiance to our race. And they are taught to think they are better than us too. I know you wouldn’t like my language but these people are being used to divide us just like in days of slavery.


    1. well I can’t control anybody’s language rofl. But yes I do feel conflicted about everything. On one hand a part of me says kick the biracials out especially the ones that are whitewashed and were raised by white people. There are some that are good, and they just see their black side and want to help the black community but they are few and far between. I’ve met some biracial commenters that are pro black but most of them are a person of color mixed with black I haven’t really seen a biracial with a white parent be as pro black as the ones mixed with a poc parent. It’s not just the biracials we gotta be weary of either, some black people are raised or adopted by whites and end up white identified. My guard goes up when they say they are biracial, have a white parent, a white lover, or live in a white neighborhood. I do feel bad for the ones with a crazy mother, I’ve read stories about biracial kids with racist white mothers. I saw this facebook page called tragic arrangements it is crazy. I saw one pic that someone took of somebodies twitter and this white woman had her biracial child and had emojis of a watermelon and chicken next to the picture of her child and then when someone asked her why, she said because my child’s black duh. Things like that I feel bad for the kids, hate to say it but the racist whites were right when they were saying oh what about the children. sadly the kids that go through that will not be pro black but anti black and we don’t need that in our community, hell while we at it we need to throw the lil waynes, and other ignorant mofos outta our community too.


      1. @mstoogood4yall

        They go right back to being racist once their partner is out of the picture. They know that another black man or woman will not want them once they see their child/children. They are unhappy to be lonely and reminded they once had something with the only man or woman they truly admire.

        I know that some of us believe we are safe because why-te men and women are showing interest in the other “people of color”. We must remember that Robert Zimmerman still spoke of us, even though he had a Peruvian wife. Like Negress said, “Yts have an obsession with us”. RZ still was not happy with his Peruvian wife. Yts are never over us, even when it seems like it. They are mutated albinos. The yt man hates and will never show respect for all Brothas. The yt woman is jealous of all Sistas. He wants control over the Sista of his choice. The yt woman wants Brothas to notice her, only. If they can’t have it that way, then they want us all dead.

        We need a solution to all of this.


      2. @Mstooogood4yall
        I think we need to throw the biracials out of our community as well as the sellout Blacks too. Biracials, for the most part, are not on our side and it is worse when they have a cave bitch as a mother. These cave bitches raise their biracial children to think they are better than full Black people, most of these biracials coming up today are dangerous. These cave bitches and cave people just use biracials as a way to say that they aren’t racist and promote a colorblind brown utopia society. They are being used against us.

        Don’t ever include a biracial mutt in our community unless he or she has proven themselves worthy of respect and is on our side in our struggle against White supremacy. And the same can be applied to a successful Black person as well.

        P.S. White people are technically cave people because before the Greeks and Romans, most of them dwelled in caves, acted like Barbarians killing each other and practicing cannibalism. Yes a White woman is technically a cave bitch because that is what she truly is. She knows that too.


  19. @alchemist




    -Hi 5 to all you guys on the black hand side.I love these intelligent answers. It is on the money! The Alchemist is correct. In most human societies, culture is transmitted via the mother, so most biracials with black mothers and white fathers will have more exposure to their African ancestry/culture(my mom is an example of this pattern) than WW/BM unions. And Alchemist is correct again, the black man/white woman union is very high in its divorce rate, so most biracials of this pairing will be raised by their white moms and experience the various forms of racism that White America spits out.

    – However Alchemist, if you mind me playing devils advocate, I dont always think biracials born from black mothers and white fathers are more rooted within the African-American community. Not all, but in my opinion, alot of black women married to white men are so submissive to their dominant white partner, that they end up being extremely anti-black anyway and live in super white communities with their mixed race kids. So while it is true mulattoes from black man/white women unions have more problems trying to identify with the black community(its also by default because there are more BM/WW unions than BW/WM ones), I dont think black female/white male unions are anymore of a help to our plight.

    -Adeen and mstoogood4yall. My point exactly. In this so-called “post-racial era”, many people are very naive about interracial unions and its effects on children. And as mstoogood4yall points out, I have a distrust when blacks have white partners, half-white kids,etc. and then “claim” they are down with our fight. As I said, if a cop was with a Mafia boss, would you trust that cop?

    -Imhotep makes a interesting point also because you have to look at the racial and gender aspect of it. For example, if I as a black man have children with a white woman and she has issues with black females, I would feel very concerned if we had daughters. I know you Adeen and mstoogood4yall have no interest in white men but just for example’s sake, could you imagine having a white man for your boyfriend/husband and he has issues with black men, I know you ladies would feel concerned for your sons.

    Interracial relationships- The light at the end of the tunnel might be a train!


    1. “mstoogood4yall have no interest in white men but just for example’s sake, could you imagine having a white man for your boyfriend/husband and he has issues with black men, I know you ladies would feel concerned for your sons.

      Interracial relationships- The light at the end of the tunnel might be a train!”

      Rofl. great now I got a headache. I can’t imagine having a white husband/bf and he has issues with black men. Oh heck no, I think the black women that don’t have a father would be ok with a white man not respecting black men. I have my father in my life and hell no I wouldn’t allow any guy regardless of color to disrespect any man in my family. I would be concerned for my sons as a man teaches their son how to be a man, and if the white guy has issues with black men then more than likely he will diss black men in front of the biracial son. Then the son will grow up thinking being a black man is bad when that is what he will be looked at as, he will still be followed around the store and treated like a threat.


    2. @TTNYCRN

      All yt men have issues with Brothas.
      All yt women have issues with Sistas. It is a fact.

      A yt man NEVER wants a son by a Sista. Yt women would love to have a son for a Brotha. Most yts do not want to have children with us. They would much rather adopt a full Brotha or Sista. That way they get to watch them grow into the person they desire.

      None of our people should be any kind of relationship with peckerwoods. The why-te man has no respect for Sistas at all. By killing off Brothas, who naturally come from Sistas, the “plain person” harms the egg of the Sista. He NEVER grants any Sistah any power over him. Because of his weathered mind, he will always believe he is superior to everything. He only thinks he knows best for Sistas, but he does not care about what Sistas want from him.

      He is only able to pick up Sistas because he sees how some Brothas disrespect Sistas. Unfortunately, some “African American men”(as they refer to themselves as that) still treat their girlfriends and wives like housewives only. They believe that all men should treat any woman like that. Yt women are able to pick up Brothas because of the emasculation of us brought on by everyone around us, including some Sistas.

      Our people should not be in interracial relationships. We should be happy that other ethnicities stay to themselves. We need to leave them alone. That will never be the case for why-te people. Yts want us to want them without the hassle. They know they must have power over us so we cannot breakaway from them. There will have to be a final confrontation sometime soon. There is no other way. Why-tes are destructive to everything around them. They are mutated human beings.


  20. @TTYNCRN

    I will never date or marry a White man even if he showed interest. And especially where I live, I wouldn’t ever date a White guy from my area. I am for the fight against White supremacy not kissing White ass! Anyways I wouldn’t want a White man raising any of my future children or even around me! NO WAY! I don’t believe in intermarriage between Black people and White people for a reason! Only a stupid, sellout Blacks date Whites.

    Anyways I don’t support interracial dating or marriage between Blacks and non Blacks particularly Whites. Latinos, you have to be careful with too, I would prefer a Black American person date or marry an Afro Latino. And be careful with Asians too. And Whites, we shouldn’t even think of dating or marrying Whites at this point in time. After the Trayvon Martin fiasco, we should keep ourselves in guard and not worry about interracial dating or marriage.

    We all know they don’t care about us so we have to care about us. This colorblind, postracial utopia crap is not for the best of our community.


  21. @mstoogood4yall


    -Scary thoughts,lol! When I was in my whitewashed days, dating white women, thats something I never thought about. However after the examples that you gave me mstoogood4yall of these white mothers making blatant racist remarks against their half black children, and the white supremacists having half black grandkids, it is something that is very scary.

    And the amazing part Adeen, is that these people want to convince us that the world is going to get better!


  22. @Adeen

    You make interesting point. As I said, you are much stronger black nationalist than me. Its just that sometimes I see these Afrocentric/pro-black women with their dreadlocks, twists,afros and cornrows and they probably could write a book about white supremacy and its effects on non-whites yet their boyfriend/husband is white. You know Adeen, when I see black women date or marry white men, they are usually mainstream/integration minded(e.g. Diana Ross) but these “soul” sistas really blow my mind. So forgive me Adeen, Im just hoping that you are not like the shorty mstoogood4yall show(the pro-black chick who has a white partner) who talk black and then their actions say white. So you know Adeen,it would be REALLY BIZARRE if you got your cornrows or dreadlocks, you could spit out the Jamaican accent or the Jamaican patois dialect, talk about breaking down the “Babylon” white society yet your husband is white and you have half-white children. LOL! Im just saying, these are the kinda militants we have within the black race.

    -As Imhotep implied, with militants like these who really needs Uncle Toms. Also, in the war against white supremacy, if these militants are our front line soldiers, I could say that black people REALLY ARE DEAD!


    1. @TTNYCRN

      Exactly my point! I don’t trust any militant Black person with a White partner because they are worse than Uncle Tom sellouts and more dangerous. At least with Uncle Tom sellouts, you know that they aren’t out for the best interests of our race but these militants are lying to our faces!

      They say one thing but do the next!

      You can’t fight oppression and sleep with the oppressor. It doesn’t go that way.


  23. @Adeen

    Just checking if you were one of those “soul sistas” that then go and swirl with white men,LOL! Since you said one of your goals in life is to help people of African ancestry in our plight, I just wanted to know if you are “true” black nationalist cuz as I said before, the true ones are either retired, ill or have passed away(e.g. Sonny Carson)

    Just checking,lol!


    1. @TTNYCRN

      I don’t believe in Blacks and Whites marrying or dating. White people are our oppressors and I am not for any Black person dating or marrying Whites. Overall I don’t believe Blacks for intermarry with other races but there are a few exceptions such as :
      Afro Latinos


  24. @ TTNYCRN

    The aesthetic preferences expressed by most black men sound like the phenotype of a lighter skinned afro-latina or Alicia Keyes. The “soul sistas” that have dark skin and natural hair might end up with Y-t men because those are the men that pursue them. Black men are very vocal about believing that “light skin is the right skin”. On twitter black men regularly refer to darker skinned black women as cockroaches. Are they sell outs for dating the only men that show serious interest in them (see the documentary Dark Girls) or are the #TeamLightSkin brothas the sell outs?


    1. @TTNYCRN
      Well said. I live in a mostly White area and as a young, Black female, I am against Blacks and Whites intermarrying. I have seen many racist acts Whites have done and I don’t suggest any Black person date or intermarry with them.

      And any Black female who claims to be a Black Nationalist yet dates a White man is not a true Black Nationalist but a sellout. Yes I am currently single but I would never date or marry a White man. That would be against my values.


  25. @Alchemist

    Thank you for your rebuttal. I agree with you 100% on the colorism issue within our black community. It is very toxic state that some of these brothas would say those things about their black women. Yes, I would consider those #team light skin brothas sellouts as they only cause more division in our community.

    I did not see the film Dark Girls but I read some reviews about it and yes, I did read about how some white men do like dark skinned African-American women(although from my understanding of sociology, there are white men who also prefer that “exotic” mulatto look as well)

    My argument Alchemist is very simple with these “soul sistas swirling”. Be true to what your actions are saying. If a black woman finds a white man who is interested in her, so be it. But these sistas rocking dreads, being Afrocentric or a “Nubian queen” and “claiming” they are interested in black community improvement, it is bizarre. The fact is that you are indeed trying to “assimilate” or integrate into white society. So, just say it! Dont pretend to care, and dont be a fraud. A black woman finds love with a white man, good for her. However, when it comes to the plight that African-Americans and other people of Black African ancestry face in this Eurocentric society, she should at least preach what she indeed decided to practice and I know that has nothing to do with black improvement!

    Just my views. If you agree/disagree, so be it. Nevertheless, thanks for your rebuttal!


  26. @TTNYCRN

    If these women had weave and blue contacts they would be called sell out frauds suffering from internalized racism. If they have natural hair and an afrocentric style of dress, that will make it more difficult to use their personal sense of style as a marker for claims of “selling out”. The Black Authenticity Patrol loose one of their favorite weapons in their arsenal, “You just wanna be a white woman, are filled with self hatred, and wear weaved hair”. A dark skinned woman with natural hair married to a white man contradicts the racist/sexist trope that she must hate herself.
    You keep bringing up their hair. Black women are forgoing chemicals and weaves as part of a healthy lifestyle that entails healing from multigenerational trauma rooted in what Tom Burrell called the “The Myth of Black Inferiority”. This is important internal work that will help in the healing process from Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome. I’m not sure if darker skinned women that live in communities filled will redbone worship and “spanish” girl worship have any moral obligation to “prove” their blackness to a community that challenged their humanity and right to exist. I think something similar happened with Clarence Thomas. He was bullied by black peers and adults and called ABC, america’s blackest child. Some of these women have no axe to grind with black people and simply wanted to re-associate with a part of themselves (natural hair) that they had become alienated from and just happened to be dating/married to a WM. Perhaps others simply grew to accept that they are not black man arm candy and dating other races. Some may be struggling with internalized anti-blackness. The dating and marriage choices of dark skinned natural haired black women cannot be examined in an honest way unless the premiums blacks place on the members of #TeamLightSkin are examined. Proving ones loyalty to the black community is a undo burden rarely placed on black men in IRR.

    ”. . .Pour for all them White and Light girls. We just buy all these bottles ‘cause it excites girls”
    —Red Cafe ft Rick Ross, Song Title: Faded


    1. @Alchemist

      You have a great point. I am a young, Black woman of a darker hue and I do want to help my race when I get older. I find that I attract more White and other non Black men than my own Black men because most Black men I know prefer light skin or White girls.

      I always wondered why I attract other races of men more than my own? I am not attracted to White men at all and I am sometimes attracted to Latino and Asian men.

      You can’t fight oppression and sleep with the enemy. It doesn’t go that way thus any so called Black Nationalist Black women who is for our cause but sleeps and dates White man is a sellout in my eyes.


  27. @Alchemist

    Thank you for your rebuttal, I really enjoy your responses and the detailed information that you give to supplement your argument. Yes, I agree 100% on your stance that going natural is a healthy part of overcoming the mental colonialism that has afflicted African-Americans as well as it(from a physical health standpoint with the usage of chemicals, etc.) being healthier for the body. And yes, I do agree that when black females do the Afrocentric thing and have white partners it does make the “Soul Patrol” argument of self-hate harder to pinpoint.

    However, these are some points that I have to consider regarding IR dating/marriage. First, any black person(black man or black woman) in an IR relationship, especially with a white person, is already in a conflict of interest issue. Speaking from personal experience with my interracial dating history, from a psychological standpoint you have come up with some “colorblind” stance or you just go into anti-black mode. Remember Alchemist, from a sociological view, it is the job of people of African ancestry(Afro-Americans, Afro-Caribbeans,etc.) and other non-whites(Native Americans, Australian Aboriginals) to “assimilate” into white society not the other way around(whites dont have to assimilate into anything). Thats why sociology professionals track intermarriage because it is used as a tool to see how “integrated” society is and how minorities and oppressed peoples are using this medium to improve their quality of life(financially, socially,etc.). Thats why when black political figures run for office they cannot use some Afrocentric or black nationalist stance. I highly doubt that Tom Bradley, Harold Washington, David Dinkins or even Obama would become mayors of Los Angeles,Chicago, NYC and president if they had some militant agenda. So the small percentage of African-Americans married to whites(e.g. Clarence Thomas,Mia Love) will obviously adopt a mainstream, melting pot, lets assimilate stance. So these African-American women “claiming” to be “down with Black Power” with their white boyfriends/husbands are just integrationists with interesting words!

    -I agree with you Alchemist. Due to the colorism within the black community, I know that dark skinned black women feel the “Im not sexy” vibe from our community. And if a dark skinned black female finds a white man who will love her, then I wish her well. My argument has NEVER been that black women should have “super loyalty” to black men and never date non-black men. As I said before, if a black woman lives in a white city like Seattle, it would be very odd of me or anyone else to say that she should not date white men because if she, from an individual standpoint, desires to be a girlfriend/wife, a mother, and to have companionship in her life, then a white man would pretty much be her only choice for that. However when black women dating or married to a white man start to have concerns about the collective plight of African-Americans, it is indeed bizarre. I mention natural hair because during the late 1960s and the 1970s, when blacks in the Diaspora(e.g. USA,England, Jamaica,etc.) started wearing afros, dreadlocks, it was a sign to break away from white domination and “integrationist” mentality. Yet, if a black person has a white partner, I have to consider them an integrationist. Another example, when black women, especially if they have biracial kids, start having concerns about upholding white supremacy or in light of the Trayvon Martin issue, will my biracial kids(especially sons) have issues of being racially profiled by municipal police departments and others, it is weird! Why? Because the answer is already known. If I, as a black man, have a union with a white woman, do you really think I will ask myself “Will my white wife understand that African-Americans get racially profiled?” No. My lips would be sealed and I would never talk about it. My point Alchemist is this- Dont pretend to be clueless about white supremacy when you already know the answer, thats like jumping into a swimming pool and then while you are in the water, asking can I swim?

    Finally, if you read Abagond’s great post on “The Feelings of White People” and the “Tone Argument”, I find it even more bizarre when black women talk about these “black” or “Afrocentric” issues when paired with white men. Also Alchemist, this is what I wonder. Now a black woman with a white man even if her intention is not to be a gold-digger or make a profit, will still be putting herself into a higher economic and social standing due to the as a matter of fact(de-facto) reality that white men have better jobs and more social worth than black men. So she is living like a Black Bourgeoisie(an upper class Negro) in the surburbs or on the Upper East Side of Manhattan with her “light skin,good hair” biracial kids, what does she really have to gain by being a “pretender” and talking like the female version of Farrakhan?
    Anyway Alchemist, I really appreciate your rebuttal and I do agree with the issues of colorism and its effects on dark skinned black females. And whether you agree/disagree with this posting, I would love to hear your views. My point is this-Black women should find true love where ever they find it. However, when you have concerns about the black community and you have a white partner, that is very strange. To use my example again, a police officer working with a Mafia boss is very odd even if he “claims” to be supercop and wants to clean up crime. Its a matter of conflict of interest. In regards to sellout Negroes, I might not agree with Clarence Thomas or Mia Love but at least I know where they stand. I will put more trust in them than these so-called “militants” who talk tough yet their actions are not in unison with their words.


  28. @TTNYCRN:

    So your antenna goes up if the black women in an IRR has natural hair and spouts pro-black rhetoric? I understand this sense that the spouse doesn’t match the rhetoric. Are you assuming that natural hair equates to being pro-black? It doesn’t. The problem isn’t that she has natural hair it’s the pro-black rhetoric?

    I think I remember the Pew Research Center saying that the white men that marry black women have incomes slightly below the incomes of white men married to white women. The black women tended to have an income similar to their husbands. The gold digger stereotype is a myth promoted by hip hop/rap lyrics. Well off white men have very well calibrated gold digger radar. They didn’t get rich by being “slow”.

    Since light skin is the right skin for women in America I’m inclined to give a very dark skinned black woman in an IRR a bit of a pass.


    1. @Alchemist

      A lot of mixed Brothas go for natural Sistas. They get turned down fast because Natural Sistas want Natural Brothas. Its a shame that Natural Sistas appear to want a why-te man over a mixed Brotha.


      1. I would never choose a White man over any man in the world. They are not worth it in my eyes. I would chose any race of man over White man. To me, the White man symbolizes oppression, racism, wickedness, lack of empathy, biased opinion and ruthless evil.

        Thus I will never date or think of dating a White guy or marrying one.


    2. @Alchemist

      -Thank you for your feedback and I actually agree with alot of your information.

      1)My antenna also goes up if a black man has a white girlfriend/wife and shouts Black Power. I would assume he is smokin something very powerful and is very delusional. I only mention black women from my personal observations. I have never seen a black man in an interracial relationship, myself included, come with a pro-black agenda yet I have seen black women do this.

      2)You are correct. Natural hair does not always equate with being pro-black. However, from understanding the history of African-American hair and how certain styles were and still are more accepted when functioning around whites(e.g. the conk back in the day and having a generic haircut for men or the perm for females) as opposed to others(cornrows,dreads,twists,etc.), I would assume that a black person who has natural hair, to some degree, is trying to break from the mainstream view of what is “acceptable black hair” when around the wider white society.

      3)If you dont mind, that shows like an interesting study regarding the marital incomes, if you have the link I would like to read it.

      4)YES, Alchemist, YES, you see my point. You said-“I understand this sense that the spouse doesn’t match the rhetoric.” Thats what gets to me. As I said, if a dark skinned African-American female finds a white man or non-black man who truly loves her, so be it. However, when I hear pro-black rhetoric from these women, it is beyond odd. In my book, when a black person dates/marries a white person, due to the fact that whites are the dominant and privilege group both in the USA and worldwide while African-Americans are the oppressed minority, it makes more sense never to talk about any collective plight that afflicts blacks. My view is do you and love who you feel to love but let the “angry” Negroes take care of their business and solve the problem, just remain silent because the conflict of interest is far too large.


      1. @TTNYCRN

        I agree with your reasoning. Any so called militant Black person with a White partner is not for our cause. They are worse than Uncle Toms.

        I consider myself a Black Nationalist and I would never date a White guy. In fact, I am not with anyone right now if that helps. Anyways dating a White guy goes against my beliefs. That is why I would never date a White man.


  29. @Adeen

    Thank you my Jamaican sista, spoken like a true rudegal. In our fight against white supremacy and its many subsets(discrimination in housing,education,the media,etc.), it would be nice if we had no Uncle Toms and Aunt Jeminas. However, like everything in life, you will always have some exceptions to the rule. Nevertheless, there has to be some understanding of definitions so that people just do not come up with confusing strawman statements. These are my definitions of a nationalist and an integrationist

    Nationalism- obviously pride in one’s nation, culture and since we are speaking about ourselves as black people, racial group. An extension of this definition is trying to break away from one society thus creating another one, especially if the former society was deemed oppressive. For example, America breaking away from England to create the United States or using an example that is related to peoples of the African diaspora, breaking away from the European colonialism that ruled over Africa and the Caribbean. So a black nationalist, in my opinion, is trying to create a society modeled after ethnic groups like the Amish in Pennsylvania, the ultra religious Jews in New York City, and to a lesser extent, the Chinese/Koreans, and the Italian-Americans in the Northeast. In other words, a black nationalist is trying to have little or no contact with white society, a separatist movement.

    Integration- an integrationist is a person who believes that racial groups should come together and assimilate thus creating a melting pot. In other words, forgetting about culture,race,etc. and creating a “color/culture blind society”

    These are the definitions that I have to take for value. So as you said Adeen, you consider yourself a black nationalist woman. For example, okay lets say you follow the path of some well-known black nationalists such as Marcus Garvey and Louis Farrakhan. Like Garvey and Farrakhan, you decide to give a speech in a world famous venue/arena like Madison Square Garden in NYC, the Boston Garden or the Staples Center in Los Angeles. You fill arena to capacity, with about 20,000 in attendance. You go to the stand to speak about black nationalism and you have a white boyfriend/husband and you are pregnant with his child or you have your half-white children at the stand with you, should the audience really listen to you? Of course not. Your speech, regardless of how great it is, does not match your actions. Thats my point. All I ask is the people follow definitions.

    As Imhotep said, it would be nice if we did not have to deal with the Uncle Toms(Clarence Thomas) and Aunt Jeminas(Mia Love). However, I would rather deal with a snake that has a little poison than deal with a snake that I THINK has a little poison yet in reality, it is massive cobra! Just my two cents.


    1. @TTNYCRN

      All of our “nationalist” appear to be confused. They probably like the way wp make them feel. Wp dug a hole for themselves shortly after they left the cave.

      That cave mutation made the albinos into machines. Wm will always smile when Brothas are in pain. I have seen wm with high positions in an office smile and greet different Brothas. They were white in the face because in their minds, they felt completely superior to those Brothas greeted by them. Brothas know that they give those positions to themselves. No offense was taken. Then they turn red in the face when they see a Sista with her son or a Brotha with Sista. They show it in the face that they are angry at us both.

      Wp don’t seem to realize that they are their own problem. The wm is his own worst enemy, literally. There have been black men competing for the love of the same girl. That one black man never thought to pick up a rope and lynch the other black man. We know to just walk away when a black woman shows interest in another Brotha. We would never think to harm a Sista that is not interested in us. Black men know how to just walk away.

      Wm seem to be alright around Brothas when they are pre-pubescent. Even then, there have been cases of young wm killing their grandparents over a pizza. When pre-pubescent wm are not under the influence of their WN parents, they can be quite kind to young bm. They still take a liking to violence, but not all of the time. They appear to see Brothas as teachers. Once that testorone comes around, they become the wm we all know. Once they get older, many of them become senile. We need to watch our children around these elderly white men. We need to watch ourselves around wp, PERIOD. We all need to watch ourselves around elderly wm! Wm only get more harmful as they age.

      I don’t know what would reverse the way they are. I know yts like to stay cool all of the time because of their stay in the caves. I know that I am tired of all of this. How long can it all go on for? Jah will make a way.


  30. @TTNYCRN

    “I have never seen a black man in an interracial relationship, myself included, come with a pro-black agenda yet I have seen black women do this.”

    Amiri Baraka (Leroi Jones), Ismael Reed, Elon James White, Eldridge Cleaver (read Soul on Ice), Frantz Fannon, Paul Robeson (on the white girl DL while in the commuinist party), In his book A Lonely Rage former BPP member Bobby Seale says that many BPP members had white girlfriends, Harry Belafonte. This was all the rage on the 1960s and 1970s among black male nationalist hence the term “talking black but sleeping white”.

    I think the info on the income of WM that marry BW comes from the Pew Research Center’s 2012 study.


    1. @Alchemist

      It seems like all the militant Black men date and marry White women the most and I wonder why.

      And as a Black female who believes in Afrocentricism, I wouldn’t want to date a White man.


      1. @Adeen

        I don’t think militant black men see the white woman’s hand in white supremacy.

        Militant black men do not want black women seeing white men because I’m sure many of them have heard of the insults white men used to make black women feel inferior to white men long before all of the raping that occurred. Some black women hate themselves today because they believe they aren’t pretty. Jah helps us, as a people, in more ways than one. A self-hating black woman just isn’t going to believe that white men find her attractive when they tell her she is. Unfortunately, it is hard for us Brothas to tell some of these self-hating Sistas that they are beautiful. Still, she will stay single over being in a relationship with a white man. White men, themselves, would never like to be called a monkey. They don’t mind calling everyone else “a chimp”.

        It is strange to see a black man feel sympathy for white women when no white woman spoke out against the cruel acts of white men in the past and present. If those militant black men were about to get lynched by a mob of “hang your head low saxxon” men, their white girlfriends would remain completely silent during the whole process.

        It’s sad that those militant black men do not realize they are hurting the people they are supposed to be defending when they are with white women. Then, they say they hate seeing black women wear weaves. Some Sistas wear weaves because of these militant black men showing more interest in white women over their own women.

        If white people really liked us, they would respect that black love must exist. It’s true, there is no such thing as white self-love because whites are albinos. Albinos love themselves as black people first. Our people will figure something out.


  31. @Alchemist

    Thank you for the list and the link.From watching Malcolm X’s movie, he also had a white girlfriend before he joined the Nation Of Islam. And I obviously did my swirling back in the day. Nevertheless, thank you for your information



    As I said, it would be nice if we did not have Uncle Toms and Aunt Jeminas but I would prefer them to be honest with their intentions. These so-called Pan Africanists and militants are an even bigger joke. I agree with you Imhotep, you have some weird and strange Negroes among us!


    1. @TTNYCRN

      Yep, TTNYCRN, these “militants” are proud slaves. Our people are still slaves. These “militants” are not willing to stand with us who do not like being slaves. They probably are not willing to die for our cause either. At this age, the feds do not scare me. This just isn’t living to me. Amazing, no one is happy. Most Yts aren’t happy because they cannot be with the people they truly admire. They don’t want to accept that it is their own fault. We are not happy because We are forced to have a yt employer or supplier just to start a business in Amerikkka. I don’t see how these “militants” can be proud of the wm who run “this great nation” because they want to be seen as the most superior man out of us all. Then, there are the mothers who continue to have wm knowing they harm everything in their path, including even their mothers.

      It is sad our male “militants” have no respect for our Brothas in prison. Ww have lied on us so many times. Then, there is the Brotha that went to jail for arguing with a ww. How are they going to kiss ww knowing a few lonely ww were jurors who let gz go free?

      This is madness! Everytime wp are forced to stay alone to themselves, they harm us so we can run to them. It is not our fault the Creator gave you albinism and altered features. Be mad with the creator and not the original people.

      I still wish I could see the look on the faces of our first ever people when they had their first ever child with albinism. They let their children with albinism have their space and did not kill them because we are a peaceful people. I’m sure our first ever people were surprised. Now, imagine wp seeing themselves as the first ever humans. Too bad, WP may never see what is wrong with their work.


  32. @mstoogood4yall

    Good point,lol! You might be in jail or in the cemetery very fast! Its just that in our generation(the Generation Y/millenial) of African-Americans/Africans/Afro-Caribbeans, we have alot of people who talk tough about white supremacy but they are full of BS. As I said, the real black nationalists of yesteryear(e.g. Sonny Carson) actually did things to improve our communities. Anyway, I found this link from the Final Call that you should read about Black Poverty and the REAL reasons behind it-


  33. And, this crap about being with a white person is like being with the slave master? Please, stay away from interracial dating with white people…your head is wrapped up in polítical dogma and rhetoric…

    Stay in your little politicised worlds and stop pseudo psycho analising people you dont even know, your free advice is worth half the price


  34. I think being in a interracial relationship is a personal choice – no one knows who they will fall in love with. I can’t believe in the 21st century people can’t get pass this.

    Biracial children are a gift of God as all children all regardless of how dark or light they are. I wish the colourism would stop.

    People need to realize interracial marriages/relationships are not going to go away as the world becomes more expanisve and global – people will be more open. We all have the right to live the life how we chose – it’s no ones business.


  35. i felt as though i could have written this myself. very beautifully stated. i’m sure my husband probably thinks i don’t like mixed children/biracial children. there are several in my family now, courtesy of some of my husband’s male cousins impregnating white women, and i did not feel much of any connection with these children as i did with the all black, dark skinned and light-skinned black children in his family. to be fair, that was in part because these children are new, and came seemingly from outta the blue, whereas i’d already established a bond with the other children. only time will tell if i come to be as accepting of these new babies, but the reason for my aversion is simply that i know his side of the family runs the risk of going the route of the mother of the woman who wrote this post. I don’t want to feed into that self-assurance that the several mixed children born already have, guaranteed. instead, i’d rather spend my efforts building up the three fully black children who have kinky hair and dark skin just like me, just in case others may try to make them feel as though they aren’t as valued. if someone insults them for their hair, i’ll be there to set the record straight and battle the cultural negativity that seems hellbent on convincing black people that our natural black attributes, which set us apart physically from every other race on the planet, are ugly and unnatural. hell to the no!
    thank you for writing this. i’d been unable to articulate why it is i feel some type of way about mixed people as they relate to fully black peoples, and i think you hit the nail on the head. i get tired of people citing “most beautiful black women of the world” lists and the majority of the women featured on these lists are mixed race or possessing of Caucasian-associated features. they can have that; include them on white peoples’ lists, why don’t you. but i’m not claiming ’em, not at the risk of the self-esteem of mine. in the meantime, for all its worth, i’m gonna continue building up my little boy, telling him how cute he is (he gets that anyway from EVERYBODY, black and white and everything in between), and how much i love his hair, and how smart he is, how beautiful his eyes are (dark and mysterious, just like daddy’s!), how assertive he is and bold and daring, how much i love how even at two years old he takes the initiative. yep, that’s the plan. showing him images of beautiful fully black women in a world where the media will inundate him with images of white and mixed women. that’s my responsibility as a black mother. thank you for voicing this.


  36. I changed my mind on interracial dating and relationships. I changed my name from Adeen to Jamaican Princess to reflect my heritage. I am for interracial dating and marriage because love knows no color. And also there is always someone out for another person regardless of race. I am not naïve enough to say that racism doesn’t exist but I know that there is nothing wrong with interracial dating and relationships


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