Stop Comparing Your Racial Preference to Someone’s Sexual Orientation

If you are person who excludes Black women from your dating pool and you use the excuse that “you can’t help what you’re attracted to just like gay people can’t help being gay and straight people can’t help being straight,” then this post is directed at you.

Please stop comparing someone’s sexual orientation to your superficial skin color preference. To my knowledge, people don’t come out of the womb with a gene that says “be attracted to every race, except Black women.” That just doesn’t happen. Race is not a valid biological concept in the same way that gender is a valid biological concept. There are genetic differences between male and female, but there are no significant differences between races on a biological level…so any preference that a person has for a specific “race,” is socially constructed and influenced. It is NOT the same as person being Gay. Whether or not people are born gay is debatable, but being attracted to a certain gender is vastly different than being attracted to certain “races” or skin colors.

We are in a culture that places Eurocentric beauty above every other type of beauty and the closer you are to the Eurocentric ideal, the more beautiful you are considered to be. From the day we are born, we are exposed to white beauty as an ideal from the Pantene commercials to the movies, to the billboards, to the everyday people we see lauded as beautiful on the street. Eurocentric beauty is TAUGHT to us on a conscious and subconscious level.

In all likelihood, if you grew up in the West (or anywhere where western media predominates) then you are going to be influenced  by this beauty standard. So when you check of “white” “Asian” “Latina,” and every other race but Black and then claim that is just your preference…it’s your right to have your preference and that’s fine, but please don’t pretend that it just materialized out of nowhere. There are reasons that you prefer every other race, but Black.

Let’s just be honest about it and call it what it is…You can keep dating or marrying whomever and having your preference, but don’t pretend like this is an innate preference, when it is not.

You did not wake up one day and magically prefer every race, but Black women…like a magical preference.

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