How Do You Know When White Men Are Sexually Objectifying Black Women?


I am a Black woman who feels a fondness for Black men, there is no denying that. I feel that I have a kinship with them and we share a history and background that is unmatched by other cultures and ethnities. However, as I’ve matured, I have become more open to other races of men and I have realized that above all, it’s most important to be with a man who respects you and cares for you…color aside.

I just read a series of articles critiquing an article by a Black woman who discussed the reasons why she didn’t want to sleep with a white man. First, I support Black women’s right to sleep with or not to sleep with whomever she wants. I can understand why some Black women prefer Black men and I can respect a Black woman’s right to be with whomever she chooses. I also can understand and support Black women who are open to all races of men and who like to have relationships with non-Black men.

My main focus is Black women being content and respected as women. I want Black women to be with men who respect, love and care for them, regardless of color.

I can also understand how some Black women would be hesistant to be involved with non-Black men, especially white men. We have a horrible history and race relations in the West are still very sour.

So, I can understand how some Black women feel in terms of white men, I’ve had my reservations about white men before myself…and this is why I just can’t get with “The Something New Crew,” you know the group of Black women who focus solely on white men as a superior alternative to Black women’s relationship woes. I think Black women should go wherever we’re respected and feel loved…whether that is with a Black man, white or asian. No one is superior to another.

I do not want to read stories about how perfect white men are anymore than I want to read stories about how Black men are perfect kings. The reality is, men are men. Black men aren’t perfect and white men aren’t perfect and I think that is how I, as a Black woman, am starting to look at men.


In the case of the young Biracial-Black woman in Toronto who feels she was used by white men for sex, I can certainly understand her feelings and in this case she was justified in feeling objectified.

However, speaking in general, can you tell the difference between when a non-black man is interested in you as a woman…and when he is objectifying you?

How do you all feel about receiving sexual attention from non-black men?

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14 thoughts on “How Do You Know When White Men Are Sexually Objectifying Black Women?”

  1. -i’m open to other races too.however,i have had some guys who give off the ebony fetish vibe and i call them out on it.i feel uneasy when this happens and trust me,i think most women can tell the difference between the genuine and the creepy


  2. White men have been sexually objectifying and devaluing Black women’s body for centuries. Honestly I will never date or marry a White American man because most of them are racist, unappealing and I can’t relate to them culturally.

    Plus most Black women who date or marry White men are sellouts. I want to have full Black kids one day not confused, mixed race mutts.


  3. I agree with the post and i do agree with Adden with that said. I live in sweden and White men have Always been Sexually Objectifying black womens bodies. Since i was 16 till 19, i could notice the looks i got from White men, and it was not in a respectful way, i was more of a sex beast or animal and i have even Heard them talk about blackwomen only in a sexually way not a way of love and tender or passion, just like they were using black Girls 4 sex. But i have never nor will ever consider dating a White guy, because i know the way they Think about black women. Im not saying that all whitemen are like that, but most of them are like that, whitewomen are even worse they hate us like hell. Even when a discussion is going on about blackwomen and their bodies, 80% will talk shit and Sexually Objectify black women while the other 20% of White men will do or say nothing, some will even laugh and agree, but without explaining themselves. Its sad but true. Iam glad to know the truth, because i have lived amongst Whites and know this 4 a fact. i may be quite, or say nothing, but then again, i am the only black girl in my class, we are a totall of black childen like 3 in the whole school, so what do i do? the other blacks suck up to these Whites that talk shit about blackpeople. in this case its better 4 me 2 do nothing, because everytime i have tried to do something, i have the whole class against me, saying its not true and that not good position to be in. the most important thing is that i know whats Wright in my heart and mind and not what those idiots say. What do you do when your the only black person in your class, hearing all of the White boys talk shit about blackwomens bodies like that?? and nobody is doing something, mostly all of the Whites are just laughing, what do you do??? And Think about this, your going to be attending 4 years or even more years to come with the same White Children??


    1. @Saazar

      I live in AmeriKKKlan and I am 17 and White guys give me the strangest looks at school or talk badly about Black females. I know how you feel because I go through it everyday at my mostly White Catholic school and I always hear them talk about Black females’ bodies. It is sick how they sexually objectify us and degrade us. They have been doing that for centuries and it will go on for years to come.

      That is one of the reasons why I will never suggest a Black woman date a White guy and I will NEVER date a White guy from my town or anywhere as long as I live. I would rather be celibate, which I am right now, than date a White guy.


    2. sorry u have to deal with that saaraz. I don’t really know what to tell u, keep ur head up and if they were so disgusted about black women’s bodies they wouldn’t be talking about it and would talk about what they do like. I bet they’ve never been with or seen a black woman naked, they just talking. Just as long as u know black women are beautiful and all they say is not true that is what matters most. Black women have been objectified and whites have been mesmerized by our bodies, a woman named sara baartman was put on display for her body because whites were fascinated by her body even when she died.
      Now if black women were so ugly and all these things why do they continue to discuss us and our bodies, hair, skin,etc. Answer, they are jealous, confused, and talk about us because they are obsessed with us we are different and unique from them. we are the creators first born, created in her/his image, they know this and are mad that we are the firstborns. They talk about us because they aren’t us, they put on black face to imitate us because they want to be us. Take pride in who u are and don’t let them make u feel ashamed of who u are.


      1. @Mstoogood4yall

        Well said. I think White American men are fascinated by us because of our bodies, hair textures and looks yet they are repulsed by us based on the negative stereotypes of us Black females. Honestly if I saw one being interested in me, I would run away from him and not even give him the benefit of a doubt! I would never date a White guy! Damn right, they are our oppressors.

        Yes they do envy the fact that we are the Original People and that we were created in God’s image. Whites are basically inbred mutant albinos that envy our dark skin, intelligence and the fact that we age better than them too. We should never be ashamed of being Black, in fact, we should be proud of being Black.


  4. @Adeen
    Thank you for sharing your story, atleast now i know im not the only one going through this racist bullshit. And one thing that makes me sick is that, the black guys in my school know this, and know whats going on, but still they choose these white girls before us, It is horrible, I feel ashamed that I cannot trust the black guys in my school because they have always chosen the white girls side.

    Is it because they feel threatened or scared by the whites, that why these black guys choose them over us? Or are they intimidated by them because whites are the majority, with majority comes power, is it why they choose them over us??

    I guess this means we stand alone, I mean, I stand alone on this one because in Sweden, mostly all black men worship white girls and are in relationships with them. It has always been that we, black women gotta deal with this shit by ourselves, without getting help from the brothers, and it sucks, both painful and disappointing. I also have chosen to live celibate, because I refuse to put my dignity, body, soul, heart and energy in someone only sees us black women in a sexually demeaning unworthy way.

    They are also many rumors in sweden that many arab men use black women for sex because their wives do not have the same body as a black women, but they would not marry us, or even show us in public, infact it was an arab guy that said this, they only reason he fucked a black girls was because of our big butts and that he has a wife that he cherishes. Its sad but true, Im choked that these black girls that have sex with these kind of guys don’t think any further and they spoil our reputation. I actually think that If I want to have a decent black man who respects me and black women. I have to look abroad and overseas, because finding a good black man that respects black women in Sweden is almost impossible.

    Thank you for your support and advice, I feel better that they are others out there like you, that acknowledge this issue. Most people would not acknowledge this issue or they would just ignore it, many teachers that I have had just ignored this issues and pretended that everything is good but when things were very bad even worse and this behavior continues in Sweden sad to say.

    Well thank you for the tips, I watched Saartjie Baartman, i am speechless…. In chock I really can’t believe I don’t know about her before. Its so painful to watch this, even to except that it is a real story is heartbreaking, but these whites may not do to us today what they did to saartjie then, but I know deep inside that they would want to do it today too, unless then they woundn`t Sexually Objectify black women today. History portrays them as racists and Sexually Objectify black women in this matter, that’s why they try to behave. Their actions may have changed but not their mindset and behavior. I appreciate this knowledge. Never knew of her but never will forget her. I am going to share this every chance I get, every black woman should now this story! After watching this, it’s even more important to me as a black woman to protect my body so that none of these whites can get a change to exploit me. I know it’s not our fault what these whites do or their behavior to us, but I can’t help than to be careful.

    The movie of Saartjie Baartmans life is Deep… Very deep. I’m tired of seeing us degrade and subjectified by ourselves and our brothers. I don’t listen to music or watch videos using the term bitch and hoe to address a female. It makes me cringe. Just “massas” way of keeping us brainwashed and making us feel that we have little worth. It needs to stop but it won’t. “Girls will sell their soul to by some attention.” Until we get to the root of the problem, nothing will change.

    All I can say is, we as blacks need to come together and build a strong nation all other the world that the world has never seen before or expected from us. What? They expect us to go under, while they rise? I say let’s surprise them, so the never see it coming. I know it will take many years and lots of work of all parts of the world, I think we can do it.

    Blacks have the strongest mind set ever and we are strong as people, if you think about it. Just think of how much we have had to endure, the humiliation, discrimination, racism, demeaning, unworthy of being human and lots more, but still here we stand and still strong. I think we can do better and listen to our brothers and sisters and not the media or what others say.

    Love, Loyalty, Hope and Faith towards each other is what we need to get somewhere, and not seek advice from others, cause if we don`t then it’s easy 4 them to manipulate us and brain wash us, and all will be lost if turn that direction, which I see happening today and its escalating quickly. Like for example, there are lots of YouTube videos about how black men hate black women and the other way around. This is all sick, disgusting and crazy behavior, and I believe we can do better before it’s too late.


    1. @Saarez

      Same with AmeriKKKlan where I live. Most of the Black guys at my school prefer White girls or Latinas. I wondered why. I feel like we are alone in the fight against racism and sexism in the Western World because White people keep on disrespecting us and Black men go along with it. I think media brainwashing has something to do with Black males preferring to date White and non Black females but I don’t know the complete reason behind this. Honestly I think it is time you give up on Westernized Black men and try find African Black men because I heard they love and respect Black females. Westernized Black men, for the most part, don’t seem to care about our struggles or even love or respect Black women. It is time to move on from them.

      My family is from a predominantly Black nation in the West Indies and honestly I will stick to Black Caribbean men or Black African men because they respect Black females more. Black American men bash Black American women endlessly and openly uplift White or non Black women. Black American men and many Westernized Black men are just like White American men in their mindset towards Black women only they have different skin color, hair texture and lack the privilege and power White American men have.

      I only wish the best for you and you should travel to Africa or the Caribbean sometime, maybe you would find a nice, Black man who loves and respects you there, who knows.


    2. Like I said before, black peyote are racist against their own kind. That’s why you see black men not choosing black women. You demonize white men when our own men hate us. They feed into media bs & aren’t strong enough to think for themselves. I’m not saying either one is better, but y’all giving too much credit to black men when many wouldn’t do the same for y’all


  5. I like your post. Black women are the most stunning women on this planet. There are no ugly Black women, you know? I mean, Black women are full and sexy. OK, some American guys admitted that Black ladies are strong in bed. What else do you need from a girl? Yes, they are goody. So, there are many interracial marriages between Black ladies with American men, which is common. So, this article is useful when it presents the truth.


  6. Choose a man who would love you no matter if you were black, blue, brown, purple, white, or yellow. When you do, his own race wont matter.

    I had an African fiance, and she asked me about this once. I told her that I loved her for who she was, not what she was. She has a heritage, a homeland, and a people, just like me; but those are all extra things, they don’t speak to the heart of the matter, which is the connection between two people.


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