Blackpeoplemeet is not racist. On the surface to oblivious white-indentified people, it may seem like it’s racist, but the reality is, we live in a society where white is the default. When I, as a Black woman, go on a dating website and I see every box checked, except Black or I see commercials advertised for dating websites like match.com or Ok Cupid and there are only white people portrayed, where does that leave people, such as myself who are Black?
White people have the privilege of seeing people who look like them, all of the time on television, in movies, in magazines and other forms of media. Most white people grow up in white neighborhoods, work around majority other white people, go to white schools and white house of worship. I, on the other hand, spend my whole life being the token minority. I went to a majoirty white school, attended a white college and lived in a white neighborhood. I had deal my whole life being seen as “the other,” or the “token.” I had to confront stereotypes held by my white classmates, coworkers and contemporaries on my own for the most part. I had to go on website after website like Ok Cupid or Match.com and see every box checked except Black. There was a study done by Ok Cupid that said that Black women got the least responses back from men.
We do not live in an equal society, but many white people do not see this because their white privilege affords them the right to be oblivious to the fact that white is the default ethnicity.
So, it’s very odd that some white people would be offended by a website that is designed for Black people, but does not explicity bar white people from joining…unlike the country club that I was banned from joining because they explicitly didn’t allow non-white people or non-christians to join.
Blackpeoplemeet is not about excluding white people, it’s about giving Black people a space where we don’t have to worry about being looked down on because we’re Black. It’s about acceptance and being around other people who share our culture and experiences. Like it or not, Black people have our own unique culture and we have experiences thar relate to our race, that white people just will not understand because they have not lived as a Black person. It is necessary to have places like Blackpeoplemeet where Black people can feel safe and accepted in a very Eurocentric society. I don’t have to worry about the “everything, but Black,” box being checked on blackpeoplemeet.com
Still not understanding…look at it from this perspective. This may be a trite example, but if you attend an arts and crafts class and every single class, you knit, you have knitting circles and knitting parities. But you don’t knit, you only sew. So you are unable to participate and enjoy the arts and crafts classes and you can never go to the knitting parties, you can never participate in the HOliday knitting parties where you make socks and scarves. So, you create a “sewing club,” for people who like to sew. Wouldn’t it be silly for the knitters to tell you that it was unfair of you to have a sewing club when all you do is knit and have knitting parities in arts and crafts class every day.
Most people with common sense, would understand that it’s only fair that people who are sewers should be able to have a place where they can sew because in arts and crafts all you ever do is knit.
It’s the same scenario with Blackpeoplemeet, only add to that a complex history and inequalities that still exist in this day…to haven an even more intense scenario than the arts and crafts club.
I just think it’s very myopic and insensitive for some white people to castigate blackpeoplemeet.com when all of society is whitepeoplemeet, every day, all day…white people have the privilege of being able to join the “whitepeoplemeet,” club everyday of their lives.
With that being said, I’ll be joining blackpeoplemeet very soon.