Real Alpha Males Don’t Bully Black Women!

Last week, I posted a link to a discussion about Black women & beauty. After linking to the article, I got quite a few responses from various people. However, I wanted to highlight part of Mstoogood4yall’s response:

“As long as they continue to do these studies in majorly white settings i will not agree with it.When these studies are done in more diverse places and not just america,europe,or the Uk then i might believe it. White men and asian men are feminized because they are too focused on studies instead of just liking who they like and being with beautiful women,they have to go and do a study on why that woman is beautiful. Just enjoy the view stop over analyzing things,women don’t want a man that over thinks things…If black women are so ugly why do people stay going to places like brazil for the women.If white women are so great then why were white men raping black women [ see article] when they had a beautiful white wife to go home to.”

I responded with this comment that you can view here. 

My Response:

 am heartbroken when I learn of all that our foremother’s have endured. I am heartbroken because of the mistreatment that Black women continue to endure to this day. I am heartbroken to read the stereotypes of us online, but I’ve come to understand that the reason that Black women are so mistreated both offline and online is because of history and its influence on the present day.

It is worth noting, that both Black men and Black women have endured and continue to endure mistreatment due to our race. However, Black women must endure both racism and sexism. Due to the fact that society has placed Black women at the bottom of the racial and sexual totem pole, we have to deal with unique problems that Black men just do not have to deal with. One of the unique problems we have to deal with is being bashed due to our “perceived masculinity.”

It goes without saying that Black women, in reality, are no more masculine than other women. If we really had all the extra testosterone that people claim, our hormones would be imbalanced and we would not be able to bear children. So, the claim about testosterone is nonsense. People stereotype Black women as masculine because of our history and (in my opinion) because of their own insecurities

For centuries, Black women have had no control over our bodies. We were forced into bondage, our wombs were dominated by both White and Black men, our bodies were violated and our spirits were crushed. Watching our community face persecution, seeing children sold away and being forced to raise children as single mothers, just as we do today, has caused a collective shift in the Black community and Black women have had to develop armor to protect ourselves from the constant abuse. I think because of this resilient demeanor, some people mistake our resilience for masculinity. Just because we survive though, doesn’t mean that we are indefatigable.

With that being said,

I feel that the real reason that men go online and bash Black women so relentlessly is due to jealousy and fear. These so-called men who do this are so used to being control of us that they try to dominate us online by bashing us constantly. They want to humble us and demean us because ,perhaps, they feel threatened by us.  I think that it frightens some men that Black women are excelling in various aspects of life, especially in terms of education… and because we’re making progress, people feel the need to tear us down.

It is the easiest thing in the world to sit behind a computer and bully a bunch of women anonymously. It is quite possible that many of the men who bash us online are very insecure and unaccomplished offline and they use the internet to feel empowered.

In the words of the PUA blogosphere, it’s very BETA of these so-called men to sit anonymously behind a computer and bitch and rant about Black women… a bunch of females. A real man wouldn’t feel so threatened by a minority group of women who really have not  done anything to him any way.

This brings me back to Mstoogood4yall’s comment. Bashing Black women DEFINITELY turns men effeminate!  I think that Mstoogood4yall was on to something when she made her comments about men who do studies on why women are attractive or unattractive being more effeminate. So many people always want to pull out studies saying how masculine Black women are compared to other women and how we’re “too masculine,” for men…but did anyone ever stop to think that maybe certain men are just too effeminate and weak for Black women?

If you feel so threatened and intimated by a woman because you think that she is MORE masculine or TOO MASCULINE for you…AND YOU’RE A MAN…then what does that say about your OWN masculinity or lack thereof…maybe the problem lies with these insecure men …???

Why is a man sitting online bitching about Black women, a group he supposedly finds so repulsive , instead of out getting one of those glorious, beautiful, blonde tens that he thinks he can get so readily…I don’t get it. Why people obsess over Black women,yet claim to hate us so much…?

Does anyone get it?

I find that the men (whether black or white) who defend Black women and defend women in general from bashing are the real alphas. They are the real men who excel offline, so they do not feel the need to bash Black women (or any other woman) online.

What do you all think?

BTW, I found a study that demonstrates that the media DOES shape our perceptions of beauty, you can check it out at the source below:


13 thoughts on “Real Alpha Males Don’t Bully Black Women!”

  1. My dear

    Please do not let this get you down. We are the most beautiful creatures on earth. That’s why EVERYONE is out to get us in one way or the other. Their envy is Manifested into hate. Add to the fact that everyone on this planet comes from us, it’s easy to see why we are hunted, feared, sexualized, revered, copied and dominated.

    I no longer let this black female bashing get me down.

    Why? For one simple reason.

    If we were ever wiped off the face of the earth, the entire planet would perish.


  2. Aw thanks for mentioning me *blushes*. They act like black women are property still. Since they can’t have us physically they want to bash us mentally.White men can’t stand strong women,this is why for a long time their own women were stuck in the house with no job or education.Of course they will be upset that a woman from another race, a race they deem inferior, is ignoring them. If anything it’s black women who do not want white men,but they will say it is white men who don’t want us.You know they’ve been lying and sugarcoating things to make themselves feel better. I see they never do a study on why black women choose black men over other men, but they stay doing studies saying white men don’t choose us.How can they choose us when we have already made our choice.
    Also me personally i can’t get with a race of men who stay putting my people down. I challenge anyone to go to a website about white women choosing black men or black women not wanting white men and the white male commenters always say something like this “White men are safer than black men” or they say “a black man will make you a baby momma not a wife like white men will.” Notice they are always putting black men down to make themselves appear more of a man,i’m sorry but i have a black father,uncles,cousins who are good men and will not get with a man who feels the need to put them down to uplift himself.Until they can just show they are a good catch without comparing themselves to other men and stereotyping other men to make themselves look better they will stay on the bottom.They also stay trying to get black women to not be with black men,why do you think they keep doing news stories saying black women yall are single,black men date white women or are in prison so you should date a white man[white saviour].I say hell no because it is white men locking our men up for little things while white men get less time and more jobs.They want to make black men appear unstable so we get with them.I’m not falling for that tactic.THey create problems then sell us a solution to the problem they created.ITs all about greed and profit.


    1. Its also about power,men love to stare at each other and have the look what i got look on their face.This is why they kiss their girl in public as a way of marking her as his.This may be the reason black men and women weren’t allowed to kiss publicly during jim crow.White men didn’t want their white women seeing black men being passionate and affectionate thus lusting for them.They also didn’t like seeing their former sex slave, black women, being affectionate and marked by black men. Go to a gym and see a black man with a nice body working out and see how the white boys look at him.They look with envy and ask all kinds of questions like how much you lift and how you get that big.

      I see stories all the time of white fraternities hazing each other by sticking stuff up their ass.Go to youtube and you see plenty of vids of them purposely hitting each other in the nuts.Black men don’t do these effeminate things,when they join a fraternity they mostly do steppin and i don’t see them kicking or hitting each other in the nuts.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. @mstoogood4yall, Cosigned. Back in school I used to hear other boys (all ‘white’) comparing dick lengths! Used to disgust me, especially since I was Muslim so I considered it gay. Even if it’s somehow not gay, why bother going to such lengths (pardon the pun) to know what another man’s got?


    2. Mstoogood4all,

      Sophia Nelson has a very well-put commentary on how the media pressures Black women to date White and other nonblack men instead of improving Black relationships and the community:

      “‘ Yes, there are more women than men on the planet. So??? People are still happily dating, marrying and thriving in love. I just am a bit concerned that the purported solution to our problems as black women now is said to be ‘dating a white boy’. I disagree. Black love is still alive and well. How ironic that black women would turn to white men for love and comfort after our journey began here 400 years ago being raped, dishonored, and owned by white men. I know that no-one wants to go there. But we need to go there sisters. We need to take our definition as ‘woman’ back and heal ourselves so we can love our men, and they can love us in return (yes they need to heal too and they have issues too!). This is far more complicated that we want to deal with. The key is do we have the courage to work at it – and realize that we have so much to give one another before we all run off and say I need a white man, white woman, brown man, brown woman, red one, yellow one, whatever. Conquer YOU first and the rest will follow.'”

      It’s ironic to me that the media wants us Black women to ignore history, racism, and white privilege, to be with a group of men who demean and destroy us for centuries. That’s the real insult to us intelligent sistas. No, I love my Brothas too much.



  3. @ Stephanie Baldwin,

    I agree with you that I dislike STRONGLY the media fixation on PUSHING Black women to be with white men. Although, there are some nice, non-racist white men that I find attractive, I do NOT believe that marrying or mating with a white man will solve all our problems as Black women and I definitely do not think Black women should go CHASING after a white man…and I LOATHE the white male worship websites.

    I want Black women to put ourselves first for a change and do what is best for US. Black women need to date men who respect us, regardless of race. That is my belief. White men are not some superior option to Black men because there are vast and diverse groups of suitable Black men out there to choose from. There are afro-latin men, afro-arab, African-American and on and on….Ghanaian, Nigerian etc…There are lots of Black men to choose from, if a Black women prefers Black men (which most Black women do) then she can certainly find a suitable one.

    However, I do not want Black women going with ANY MAN who disrespects her, whether he be white, Black, Brown or any other color. Meaning, I would rather see a Black women with a non-black man who respects her than a Black man who does not and vice versa. I want Black women to just uplift ourselves and ONLY be around men who will uplift and respect us as Black woman.

    At the end of the day, I do think most Black women (including myself) have a cultural preference for Black men. I know that I have a preference for Black men because I identify more with them due to our history and culture. I can say things and make cryptic jokes around Black men and they’ll automatically understand exactly what I mean, while a white guy, in general, would be puzzled and I like that connection with Black men, it something no one can take away. I feel a level of comfort with Black men ( in general) that I do not experience with other men.
    Yet, I DO find other races of men attractive as well and I can say my attraction to white men has even increased over the years, yet I do NOT believe they’re a superior dating choice automatically. I would be with a Puerto Rican, white, Arab, Black or whatever guy over a guy of any color who disrespects me. But all things being equal, I do have a preference for Black men.

    So, I will never promote the idea that white men are a SUPERIOR choice to Black men because NO HUMAN BEING is superior to another. We’re all equal, so I just do not understand this “push” to get Black women away from Black men. We should be promoting respecting all people, not pushing people to see white men as a superior mating choice. I disagree with that idea and I don’t have a problem with white men. If he is cool with me, I am cool with him, but I can’t get with this idea that any one group of men is automatically a superior choice to another, not at all.


    1. I do not see the media pushing Black women to date and MARRY white men. In fact, it seems that the broadcast media go to great lengths to HIDE that relationship while portraying the black man/white woman relationship, as if that is the only intercultural relationship black people are permitted to have. For example, check out all the TV commercials that show inter-married people. You will rarely see white males portrayed as being MARRIED to black women.

      1. Case in point–the actor Robert DeNiro has always had black wives.But NEVER are these women mentioned in those typical “famous people” television shows. Only when film critic Roger Ebert was dying of cancer did the media bother to show us his black wife, Chaz.

      2. Here’s another case in point–where did you see any television coverage of the marriage of the Prince Maximilian of Lichtenstein to the Black Panamanian Angela Brown? They married at St. Vincent of Ferrer Church in New York City in 2000, but ALL the television networks completely “forgot” about covering THAT royal wedding.You better peruse all the Google image files and articles
      on this wedding, because that’s the ONLY media coverage you will see of this Black princess and her royal European husband.

      3. When white men ARE depicted with Black women on the media, we typically get just “3-second glimpses” or fleeting images that clearly convey the “invisibility” of Euro-American males with women of African descent. You MIGHT get some characters in the soap opera world, and rarely, in those hospital or law-and-order type television shows, but broadcast media typically do NOT want us to see this “taboo” image of white males ATTRACTED to and/or MARRIED to black women.

      4. Black women certainly marry men of VARIOUS ethnicities, including Asian men, Hispanic/Latino
      men, Near Eastern Men, Indigenous/Native American/First Nations men, and Pacific Island/Polynesian men–but again, broadcast media consign these relationships to the “INVISIBLE
      SPHERE” because THOSE IN CONTROL BELIEVE THAT BLACK WOMEN DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE THESE MARRIED RELATIONSHIPS. These “other men” ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO VALUE BLACK WOMEN AS ATTRACTIVE AND DESIRED MARRIAGE PARTNERS; hence, the need to prevent society at large from seeing the “scary results” of Black women and non-black males
      getting married and having families like everyone else.

      Let’s face it–Black women marrying who they want of ANY ethnicity other than “their own” is FRIGHTENING to the Superclass and the tribalist bigots who do not want Black women to have the right to choose whom they marry. She just might pass down those oh-so-contaminating
      STRONG AFRICAN GENES to the children she has with that non-Black partner (never mind the fact that ALL humans descend from Africans); and that is the SCARIEST idea for the Tribal Bigots!


    1. @Peanut – thank you. As an Afro-American woman who is dating a Euro-American guy, I hesitate to address the assumption about inter-cultural relationships because I know they exist for a reason. I’ve seen those really gross websites that push us to date other races and they make me sad.

      I’m with you, I don’t think that women (or people for that matter) should date anyone who doesn’t respect them and their culture. I know that personally I won’t date another guy (I don’t care what his heritage is) who can’t talk to me about privilege, misogyny, and racism. My partner and I have been together for six and a half years and we talk about race ALL THE TIME and how screwed up things are. He’s often the one telling me about something messed up that’s going on in the news.

      Some really good points have been made here and I’m going to be thinking about this post for a while.


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