Last week, I posted a link to a discussion about Black women & beauty. After linking to the article, I got quite a few responses from various people. However, I wanted to highlight part of Mstoogood4yall’s response:
“As long as they continue to do these studies in majorly white settings i will not agree with it.When these studies are done in more diverse places and not just america,europe,or the Uk then i might believe it. White men and asian men are feminized because they are too focused on studies instead of just liking who they like and being with beautiful women,they have to go and do a study on why that woman is beautiful. Just enjoy the view stop over analyzing things,women don’t want a man that over thinks things…If black women are so ugly why do people stay going to places like brazil for the women.If white women are so great then why were white men raping black women [ see article] when they had a beautiful white wife to go home to.”
I responded with this comment that you can view here.
I am heartbroken when I learn of all that our foremother’s have endured. I am heartbroken because of the mistreatment that Black women continue to endure to this day. I am heartbroken to read the stereotypes of us online, but I’ve come to understand that the reason that Black women are so mistreated both offline and online is because of history and its influence on the present day.
It is worth noting, that both Black men and Black women have endured and continue to endure mistreatment due to our race. However, Black women must endure both racism and sexism. Due to the fact that society has placed Black women at the bottom of the racial and sexual totem pole, we have to deal with unique problems that Black men just do not have to deal with. One of the unique problems we have to deal with is being bashed due to our “perceived masculinity.”
It goes without saying that Black women, in reality, are no more masculine than other women. If we really had all the extra testosterone that people claim, our hormones would be imbalanced and we would not be able to bear children. So, the claim about testosterone is nonsense. People stereotype Black women as masculine because of our history and (in my opinion) because of their own insecurities
For centuries, Black women have had no control over our bodies. We were forced into bondage, our wombs were dominated by both White and Black men, our bodies were violated and our spirits were crushed. Watching our community face persecution, seeing children sold away and being forced to raise children as single mothers, just as we do today, has caused a collective shift in the Black community and Black women have had to develop armor to protect ourselves from the constant abuse. I think because of this resilient demeanor, some people mistake our resilience for masculinity. Just because we survive though, doesn’t mean that we are indefatigable.
With that being said,
I feel that the real reason that men go online and bash Black women so relentlessly is due to jealousy and fear. These so-called men who do this are so used to being control of us that they try to dominate us online by bashing us constantly. They want to humble us and demean us because ,perhaps, they feel threatened by us. I think that it frightens some men that Black women are excelling in various aspects of life, especially in terms of education… and because we’re making progress, people feel the need to tear us down.
It is the easiest thing in the world to sit behind a computer and bully a bunch of women anonymously. It is quite possible that many of the men who bash us online are very insecure and unaccomplished offline and they use the internet to feel empowered.
In the words of the PUA blogosphere, it’s very BETA of these so-called men to sit anonymously behind a computer and bitch and rant about Black women… a bunch of females. A real man wouldn’t feel so threatened by a minority group of women who really have not done anything to him any way.
This brings me back to Mstoogood4yall’s comment. Bashing Black women DEFINITELY turns men effeminate! I think that Mstoogood4yall was on to something when she made her comments about men who do studies on why women are attractive or unattractive being more effeminate. So many people always want to pull out studies saying how masculine Black women are compared to other women and how we’re “too masculine,” for men…but did anyone ever stop to think that maybe certain men are just too effeminate and weak for Black women?
If you feel so threatened and intimated by a woman because you think that she is MORE masculine or TOO MASCULINE for you…AND YOU’RE A MAN…then what does that say about your OWN masculinity or lack thereof…maybe the problem lies with these insecure men …???
Why is a man sitting online bitching about Black women, a group he supposedly finds so repulsive , instead of out getting one of those glorious, beautiful, blonde tens that he thinks he can get so readily…I don’t get it. Why people obsess over Black women,yet claim to hate us so much…?
Does anyone get it?
I find that the men (whether black or white) who defend Black women and defend women in general from bashing are the real alphas. They are the real men who excel offline, so they do not feel the need to bash Black women (or any other woman) online.
What do you all think?
BTW, I found a study that demonstrates that the media DOES shape our perceptions of beauty, you can check it out at the source below: