Am I Racist If I’m Not Attracted to Black Women?


“So If I’m not physically attracted to Black women, that makes me a  racist?”

I have heard this question posed by white males, black males and many other races of men. I will not attempt to label any specific person as a racist or not simply based on their preference in women.

However, because this question is asked so often by men, I think it deserves a response.

The typical man who poses the aforementioned question on a forum or blog seems to believe that his preference in women is simply ingrained into his genetic code. Meaning, that society doesn’t regulate whom he should or should not be attracted to.

Any woman who attempts to  question his preference is said to be attempting to make his sexual taste politically correct. “You cannot regulate a person’s sexual taste in women,” the man will say.

I agree that everyone is entitled to their preference, for whatever reason, and believe it or not, rarely have I ever encountered a Black woman (offline) who vehemently castigates a man as being racist just for having their “preference.”

However, the real question is not whether or not having a preference for a particular race of women or excluding  a specific race of woman is racist, the question is WHY does an individual have a preference for one particular race of women and what leads a person to develop their preference in the first place?

First, I must begin by saying,there is no biological basis for race. Humans are genetically 99.9% percent similar to one another. Homo sapiens are the only species that doesn’t have subspecies. So, any man of any color or ethnicity can mate with a woman of any color or ethnicity and have viable offspring.

Therefore, there really is no biological basis of race. We can fulfill our sexual needs with any person of any ethnicity. Any physical preferences in people that we have are really cultural and social preferences because no matter what Satoshi Kanazawa or anyone else says, Black women (genetically and biologically) are just as womanly and just as capable of producing healthy, viable offspring as every other woman.

I believe that the racial preference that some men display for any given race of women has nothing to do with an innate biological attraction, but is a  socio-cultural attraction, which is learned. 

With that being said, men who have racial preferences in women, can seldom cite a valid reason why they rule out entire races of women, unless they resort to stereotypes. It is not uncommon to have a man check every race but Black on his dating preference list and if asked how it can be that Black women, in all their diversity, just don’t appeal, they will swear  that it’s just a preference and they are not racist.

It is difficult to call someone a racist without knowing them, but whether or not the man is a racist, one thing is for sure. He has a preference in women that is biased and his  preference is rooted in racial ideology.


It is not realistic to think that a man just develops a preference for everyone woman, except Black out of thin air. There are specific reasons why we have the preferences that we have.

Beauty preferences are largely socialized. When you grow up in a culture that portrays one type of beauty as the norm from the time that you are a child and that form of beauty is reinforced  through magazines, television shows, music and culture, you begin to prefer that which you were taught to prefer. It is funny that when someone questions someone’s exclusion of a specific race, one of the first things these men will say is, “you cannot regulate someone’s physical preference or sexual taste in women,” yet that is exactly how they developed their preference in the first place.


Many of these men are oblivious to the fact that their society, their family and their form of media have all contributed to their racial-beauty preference in women by telling them what is considered an ideal form of beauty.

If you point this out to the man, usually he will respond by making the argument that it is just a  superficial, physical preference, just like some men prefer big boobs or blondes.

It’s tempting to try and equate characteristics such as being blonde or busty to being Black because they both SEEM like they should be superficial physical traits, but,  as history has shown us,  being seen as Black warrants treatment that is far less superficial than the treatment that some women may receive for being brunette or small breasted.


Black is not as simple as blonde vs. brunette because the term Black in itself isn’t just about physical appearance. Not only is Black too broad of a term to encompass the diverse range of physical appearances within the so-called Black race, but Blackness itself has relegated those who are considered Black to a position of institutional discrimination within society that is not comparable to the position that Brunette or small busted women have been placed in.

Women with small breasts or brunette hair were not made to be the slaves of big breasted women or blondes just because they did not meet society’s beauty standards. Small breasted and brunette women were not made to sit at the back of the bus for  not having big breasts or for not being blonde.

Thus, Black is not a superficial physical trait that can be used to justify an ABB (anything but Black) beauty preference.

So, back to racial-beauty preference being taught. Most men do not realize that they have had their racial-beauty preference in women taught to them.

We live in a racist society and when it comes to Beauty, Black beauty has been strategically placed at the bottom rung and it has nothing to do with Black women’s actual physical beauty because physical beauty is found in all races.

I, personally, have always been able to look at any ethnicity on the planet and see beautiful people. I see beautiful Asian, Black, American Indian, Aboriginal, White and every other race people. There is not a single ethnic group where all I see are ugly people. Perhaps that is why, on a personal level, it is so strange to me that some men would rule out entire races as being unattractive when they’re all so diverse anyway.

I know that I cannot be the only one who sees beautiful people in every race, sure I may have a preference, but I will never call that preference innate nor will I deny that culture and society has influenced my preference.

It’s also worth noting that my preference is not an exclusionary preference, meaning I will not NOT date someone just because they’re not my usual preference.

I have always thought that all things being equal, people would go for mates who were the most healthy, had the most symmetrical faces and were the most fertile, skin color and other superficial characteristics would be  irrelevant and I think most people (in their gut) feel this way and maybe even people who claim to have an exclusionary racial-beauty preference realize this and that is why they pose the question in the first place. Perhaps, deep inside, in their instincts, they know that something is…”off,” about the idea that one race should be sexually preferable to another when there is no such thing as race to begin with.

So, back to the original question, “does not being physically attracted to Black women make you racist?”

I cannot answer that question. All I can say is it is your right to have your preference, but just know that your racial-beauty preference is learned and that is something to take into consideration.

My last thought is this. If society, culture and history truly had no influence on our perception of racial beauty, then Black women would not be portrayed as being the bottom rung and the bottom of the list again and again.

This idea of the magical preference where every other woman on the planet except Black women is acceptable would not exist because there is no biological distinction between Black women and other women and men and women’s preferences would be more balanced. There would not exist this idea that one skin color  or race is automatically more beautiful,feminine and sexier than another.

I can see beauty in all races and I know I’m not alone when I can say that there are, without a doubt, beautiful, feminine and sexy Black women.


12 thoughts on “Am I Racist If I’m Not Attracted to Black Women?”

  1. Once again it seems like the writer or blogger wants non black men to be attracted to them. If someone who is not of your race is not attracted to you it should not be an issue. It should only be an issue if the person looks like you. That obviously would be a problem. People should seek validation in themselves and not other ethnicities.


    1. it is not about validation, it is about respect. No one should define your worth, but no woman wants to be dragged through the dirt by any man of any race. no woman wants to hear a bunch of negative stereotypes again and again about her beauty. I made it clear, or so i though, in my post that if a man is just attracted to his own race exclusively, for whatever reason, that is his right, but to demean, stereotype and deride Black women simply because we’re not the women of their race is not only rude and disrespect, but it is racist. That should not be tolerated. they don’t need to love us or be attracted to us, who cares about that, but they DO need to respect us and allow us our dignity as human beings.


  2. I agree, Peanut! Love your blog!
    I stopped watching TV and all that, especially after finding most of the TV shows today are written by white women. A show with bw produced by a wm, is Girlfriends which features 4 BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN.
    I don’t watch TV also because I go to a boarding school, and I don’t want to support white supremacy anymore even passively so I go online and watch black shows (I’m re-watching Girlfriends now)
    Also AA are 49% of the US cinema audience, we have so much power (even though I’m Nigerian-Canadian) and we don’t have to sit there and watch ourselves be stereotyped or ignored…
    There are better black shows online like Awkward Black Girl, do u know it already? I’d think you’d like it A LOT!
    I surround myself with beautiful pictures of black women and people, and my house is full of mostly Nigerian art…
    I know how the media screws up our mind, at 16, I started to think something just wasn’t quite right about me…
    I grew up seeing all these magazines like Ebony and Essence, with black women and their skin glowing and this made me less brainwashed then some. i mean who wouldn’t want healthy looking skin that shines like that! but then I stopped reading those magazines and moved on to TV…it took a long time but I started feeling by age 14 that I was just a little too dark. Or something just wasn’t right
    **Click on my name for a beautiful tumblr (it’s not mine)** that made me see that I was viewing myself from a Eurocentric standard of beauty which I was the opposite of!
    And especially with how the white women on TV and even the ads when u go into shops at malls, the women’s lips are getting bigger and their noses flatter made me see how beautiful my features are, even though they tried to cover it up by saying they don’t like BP looks or whatever…but they describe our features on ww as soft, feminine, exotic! One person online said ww don’t do it to look black but more youthful! (How funny!) So we also look youthful which helps us age better! And that’s how I know I was right all along, African descendants are beautiful!and so are you!


  3. That was a lovely article. Eversinxe I stopped watching tv and just completely absorbed myself in media put forth or about blacks of every race (all melanated people) I lost all of my self esteem issues like it was magic! I got immersed in ancient African history, I read about cultures, learned about the aborigines, the drabidians, indigenous people everywhere… It changed my entire outlook. I’m no longer a brainwashed slave. Peole need to wake up. Now I see black women as the most beautiful.on earth, when I used to nearly worship white.


  4. I think Mexican women have the worst shaped ass, but I don’t have anything against Mexicans. Asians are in 2nd place for that. Again, no problem with Asians.


  5. Well, there is a difference between having a preference and having a prejudice against another race. Some men happen to find non Black women more attractive and prefer their features as opposed to Black women. Many times, this has to do with cultural differences and a lack of exposure to Black women. Since most grew up around women in their family and those who look like them, hence there are some men who do have a genuine preference due to what they are familiar with.

    Unfortunately, there are a lot of men out there that purposely say that they would never date or hook up with a Black woman due to their own perceived prejudice that is based on how the media and society portrays Black women. Many of these men have brought into the belief that White is beautiful while Black is ugly especially when it comes to dating and marrying a woman. These men may or may not genuinely prefer non Black women however their prejudice seems to speak louder than their preference.


    1. No I don’t think so, only you know for sure. But I am not attracted to White Women never have been and I don” think I’m Racist either.


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