Salvador Diaries: Hey, There’s a Lizard in the House


So, today something interesting happened. I was in my dorm room, on my bed, peacefully watching a YouTube video. I got up to get some water and I look up on the ceiling and there’s a LIZARD on the ceiling…

In the States, we don’t often have problems with lizards just wandering into our houses, mice yea…lizards…nah.

So, first thing I did was call to the other male volunteers to see if one could handle it. I said in English, “hey guys, there’s a lizard in here!..” No answer…”GUYS, there’s a lizard in here…”

Still no answer.

No one is here. I think to myself, okay, I’ll go get the security guard and see if he cane help me.

I go downstairs and look and the male guard isn’t on duty tonight, but it’s another woman who isn’t a security guard, but she’s sitting in his spot. This very nice woman only speaks Portuguese. Now, I’m not about to fool around with no lizard, who knows whether it bites or not or if it carries any diseases or whatever.

So, I said to her “Oi,” (hey) then calmly walked up to my room, hoping the lizard wouldn’t fall on my head while I walked under it. I go into my room, calmly pick up my dictionary and open up to L. I search for the Portuguese word for lizard, close the book and calmly walk back downstairs.

I say to her in my broken Portuguese, “Oi, ha um lagarto na casa.”

“Lagarto?” She says.

“Si, lagato.”

So, we both go upstairs and see the lizard on the ceiling.

“Si, nao morda,” she says, which means it doesn’t bite.

She says to me “mata?”

I say “no.” I didn’t want to kill the lizard, I just didn’t want it in the house, especially since it was so close to my room.

So she gets the broom to try and get it off of the ceiling…it won’t budge.

I try banging on the wall to get it to come down.

I say ,”nao quero em meu quarto.”

So, she says “um momento,” and walks away to go get something. When she comes back she has some Portuguese version of RAID in her hand. So, she sprays the lizard a bunch of times with the Raid. As I coughed from inhaling the fumes of the RAID, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the Lizard, even if it was gross.

But, it still didn’t fall down, so she finally took the broom and knocked it down and it was wiggling in it’s last moments. I really wanted to go and step on it just to put it out of its misery, but it was too gross for me.

So, it was wiggling and I walked toward it to try and put it in the basket and take it outside, but it was still alive and scampered into my room. I opened the door and it was dying so I put the waste basket over it and tried to drag the waste basket across the floor with him under it. Someone it’s tail got cut off and the thing was just there wiggling by itself. EWWWWW.

Finally, we got the lizard outside and dumped it’s body in the trash.

I felt pretty bad about killing the lizard. I try to avoid killing bugs, creatures if I can help it. Unless, it’s poisonous, I try to leave it alone…but I really didn’t want that lizard in the house so that it could crawl on my azz in the middle of the night. So, I wanted it taken outside at least…but it was killed…RIP

The lady and I were speaking in Portuguese the whole time though, she said a bunch of stuff and I managed to figure out what she was saying by using my Spanish skills and broken Portuguese.

Anyway, that’s my story for the day, poor lizard…but it had to go.

I profusely thanked the kind lady anyway.

“There is a lizard in the house,” that’s something that definitely wasn’t covered in the phrase book.

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