I am a fuck up. Let’s just get that out of the way. I can’t make decision for myself, my mother is over bearing and I am co-dependent. I have been talking to a guy that I like for almost three years. We originally met in 2009 on YouTube and then we started talking seriously in 2010. I love him, I have never had so much in common with any one and I respect him so much. He is intelligent, gentle, kind, selfless, handsome and sexy. But all my mother sees is the fact that he’s ten years older than me. I’m in my early twenties, he’s in his early thirties.
He recently sent me an expensive gift in the mail and when my mother found out, she went ballistic. She said she was deeply hurt, that I didn’t even know him and he could be a psycho for all I know.
I know he’s not a psycho.
She doesn’t even know him, just because we haven’t met face to face doesn’t mean we can’t have feelings for each other and doesn’t mean we can’t love each other. We are planning to meet each other face to face this year and I wanted to meet him and go to a hotel and be intimate with him because he’s the only man I’ve ever truly loved, but my mother doesn’t see that. All she sees is that he’s ten years older than me and in ten years it won’t even matter. When I’m 40 and he’s 50 no one would even bat an eye about it.
She’s ruining me. She doesn’t understand how hard it is to find a good man to love you, I’ve found a man who I love and who loves me and she’s blocking on me. I have other guys who I’ve met online, one who are closer to my age and the chemistry wasn’t really there. I mean, the other guy I’m talking to is sweet and nice, but the feelings I have for him aren’t the same as those I have for the guy who I love. I am in a bind.
I have NEVER in my life gone against my mother on something serious, but I might have to stand up for myself and just tell her how I feel and not only tell her how I feel, but do what I want for once. Step out and gain some independence.
Why can’t they give him a chance, it’s not like he’s fifty, it’s not like he’s old enough to be my father, he’s like an older brother age. I wish they would understand that…
When he sent me the expensive gift I was afraid to tell my mother specifically that it was from him because I knew she would automatically assume that he was just giving me the gift to get into my pants. She doesn’t understand that he’s not like that. So, I lied and said another guy who was younger than him actually gave it to me. She was upset, but not as upset as she would have been if she knew it was really the other guy who I love. So, I can’t even be honest with her about things.
She just doesn’t trust him. I want to be with him so badly, he’s the sweetest guy.
Do you think once he moves closer to me and my parents meet him things will change? Is it that unreasonable that I could love someone who is ten years older than me?
We’ve stopped talking before because of the age gap, that’s been the chief reason that I’ve discontinue our relationship because I”ll tell you right now, if we were closer in age make no mistake I would have been with him, been gone to see him, been brought him around my family.
I just wish my mother would let us be. I want to move in with him when he moves closer to me…she doesn’t get it.
UPDATE: After some thought, I’ve decided meeting him for the first time at a hotel is a bad idea. Our first couple meetings will be in a public, safe place until we get to know each other face to face a bit better. I don’t know what I was thinking meeting him in a hotel…I probably would have chickened out at the last minute any way.