This is a cross post from lovinmysistas.com
I am quickly becoming irritated with the articles, videos, blog posts and letters from certain white women who claim that Black women are the main antagonists in interracial relationships between ww/bm. But, at the same time it seems these same people making these claims want to stereotype all Black women, while overlooking their own privilege that drives the inequality that Black and other POC deal with on a daily basis.
Let me say this, if its been YOUR experience that you’ve encountered so-called jealous Black women who give you “mean looks” or make “snide comments,” that’s your experience. I’m sorry you’ve encountered SOME negative Black women… expressing hostility to someone for “no reason,” isn’t right. But do not blanket ALL Black women and do not presume that every Black woman who looks your way when you’re out with your Black husband or significant other is “hating on you.”
I personally have been around Black women my whole life and I know many Black women have been seeing Black men with white women their whole lives…it’s nothing new to see that coupling and therefore I find it hard to believe that the majority of Black women are out there giving “angry looks” and making “snide remarks.” I personally think that this is a stereotype that is over-played by certain people and put solely on Black women, just one more inequality to add to our list. I also think some people tend to get off and get turned on by imagining that all Black women are after them because they took a so-called “good brotha,” or because they ARE a so-called “good brotha,” with a white woman. (lol)
But anyway, if that’s been your experience…sorry to hear that but do not put that on ALL BLACK WOMEN.
Also, please don’t forget that at the end of the day you’re in a position of privilege...yes white women you have white privilege.
you have a head start, benefits that Black women and other women of color don’t get…so you get a snide comment every now and then…do you know that Black women and other WOC not only get snide comments every day, but have to deal with daily inequalities that you’ll never have to experience…and unfortunately they don’t have white privilege to fall back on.
The little snide comments that you hear (allegedly from Black women) for being out w/ a black guy…Black women deal with snide comments in our every day lives and it never stops. Unlike some people who can just get out of a relationship and go back to being white, Black women are Black our whole lives.
we have to deal with the fact that we and our children are more likely to live in poverty, we have to deal with the fact that we’re more likely to be incarcerated and serve longer sentences than ww for committing the same non-violent crimes, we have to deal with the fact that we’re under-represented in professional careers and college campuses (while people pretend that affirmative action is reverse racism), we have to deal with the fact that we’re more likely to be single mothers, we have to deal with the fact that our children are viewed as a burden on society, we have to deal with our children being taken away and put in foster care unjustly (just like in slavery), we have to deal with the fact that we’re more likely to die at a young age just by virtue of the fact that we’re black (lower life expectancy than white women).
Not only do Black women have to deal with all the effects of racism on a daily basis, but black women have to deal with snide remarks about our capabilities, character, morality and intellect. Black women have to deal with having our beauty maligned every day, we have to deal with magazines making erroneous articles about how we’re objectively the ugliest race of women, we have to deal with being virtually invisible in positive/desirable roles in movies/ television, but over-represented in negative roles. we have to deal with being told every day there’s something wrong with us because we’re black. We have to deal with being followed around the store for no reason other than we’re the only Black, we have to deal with people telling us we’re pretty for a Black girl…we have to deal with the fact that we’re not valued in this society, this is reinforced through missing white woman syndrome and the countless missing Black women whose faces aren’t deemed valuable enough to appear on the evening news, and we have to deal with stereotype after stereotype that they have put on us since we were first FORCEFULLY BROUGHT to this country.
Then on top of all that now we gotta deal with stories by some white woman about the alleged stereotypical, eye-rollin, neck-swiveling, angry- Black woman…while that same white woman can just sit back and conveniently overlook her own privilege.
This is just another thing that is getting put on Black women as if Black women are the worst of the worst, these jealous-hatin wenches who are just “hating” on white women for no reason… as if NO ONE else behaves inappropriately to others, as if other people aren’t racist to Black women.
As if white men and every other race are just so open-minded…right it wasn’t a white male judge who recently barred a bm/ww couple from marrying. As if those people who first started and promoted anti-miscegenation laws weren’t all white men, many of whom kept black mistresses and were the main ones out sexing Black women in the first place. As if there aren’t some white women who express hostility towards Black women who date white men it’s JUST Black women who are the problem…yeah…
and the odd thing is, when some white women call foul for the alleged snide remarks and “looks” that Black women give to white women in interracial relationships, it seems people are more willing to detest that “inequality,” but when a Black woman brings up all the inequalities above…she gets shut down and told she’s “over-reacting,” often by the same people who claim Black women are so hateful to white women/black men…hey, I don’t know.
…just one more thing to add to the list.