Okay, so after seeing an article on Yahoo about this book and after reading the reviews on Amazon, I downloaded it onto my handy dandy electronic reader. “Calling in the One.” by K.W. Thomas.
I ordered it rather impulsively and on a whim because based on the rave reviews, it’s apparently a great book. And also, since nothing else so far has worked for me as far as finding “the one” I thought I might as well give it a try. Honestly I had my reservations about the book because it seems like the type that clashes with my beliefs. It seemed to be on that “law of attraction” Oprah Winfrey universal spirituality that I don’t much want anything to do with.
But, like I said, nothing else has worked so I decided to give it a try. The basic idea is to transform yourself into someone who is receptive to receiving and giving love. I’ve had the book for several weeks and I’m still on “Week One”. So far it’s been a few minutes of specific meditation, a little journaling, repeating a particular phrase through the day. I’m stuck on one assignment because she instructs to make a vision board and I don’t have the magazines to cut pictures from–so I haven’t done or read anything more in weeks because if I’m going to do this, I don’t want to skip.
I can say that I did notice a difference after doing the few exercises I’ve done so far. It’s as if my being felt more open–like I wanted to have that connection with people. So we’ll see. I do want to complete the book to see if I’ll get any personal and/or interpersonal results from doing this. I don’t want to half-do it and say it didn’t help.
As far as my Christian walk goes, I think I’m doing better. For the past year, I haven’t been “with it”. It’s not that I do sinful things or that my beliefs have changed or that I’ve stopped going to church. But I haven’t felt ‘plugged’ in for a long time. Although I always have had trouble feeling like I connect with God, I do know that I have felt happier just thinking about HIS daily blessings and feeling like I’ve been in HIS presence at church and feeling excited about praying and watching the answer unfold. Or tithing obediently and knowing that all my needs were met. I remember how that felt and I’m not there anymore.
I can’t remember when I last cracked my Bible at home or turned on a Christian program on purpose. And the sad thing is that it’s not that I don’t have time.
But I’ve felt better since the start of the New Year. I’m putting some time into a new venture and I just feel like God is aligning everything up for me…so this has made me feel closer to God in my gratitude and realization that without HIM I’ll fail. My church is big on being prosperous and having the financial means to do the works of God in the community and I just want to be a giver. Especially since I don’t do anything else in the church. I could be wrong but I feel like God may be setting me up to do some major damage (in a good way) and no one would know where it’s coming from. We’ll see if this is my purpose.
This is totally random, but you know what is so sexy to me (i probably shouldn’t say ‘sexy’…how about ‘intriguing)? When I see a young black man my age or younger–especially if he is alone–with his hands raised in worship to God, I’m like Ooh…I love it. A man expressing his submission to God by lifting his hands, focused on God and giving praise is SO attractive. As if to say, “Lord I credit you for everything I have…..I don’t care who’s looking at me…..you deserve it all” Of course no one knows his heart and he could be putting on an act for the church people, you never know. But I think that most people who are uncomfortable with expressing themselves so outwardly or those that don’t want to WON’T do it. Anyway, I can’t help but stare.