So…over the past year I’ve gained weight. I joined weightwatchers, when I do the program it works, but if I go off… I’ve just been having a bad week. I was down 2lbs the last time I went. But, I missed this week’s meeting and have been eating HORRIBLY this whole week, like not even tracking my points and eating Chinese food and stuff. I feel horrible. I used to weigh 128 lbs. I’m now actually 157lbs. So I’ve gained nearly 30 pounds over the last year, I know disgraceful…
For my height, a healthy weight would be in the 120 pound range. I feel awful. I need to lose at least 20lbs before the end of December. I know I can do it but I HAVE TO go to meetings regularly, if I don’t then I just can’t do it. The reason I have such difficulty going is because I’m carless and the only weight watchers that is accessible by bus only meets ONCE A WEEK on Mondays. For the past two weeks I have been missing meetings because I’ve had other things to do. But I NEED to get this weight off, it’s driving me crazy.
Here is the plan, I’m going to make a schedule, put fitness on the schedule, plan ahead and the next meeting I will attend will be on November 7th. So, I have over a week to lose 3-4 pounds, that is my goal. To be 3-4 pounds lighter by the next meeting. I know I can do it and I’m going to pray about it.
I’ve always been able to lose weight, it’s keeping it off that is the problem. I’ll tell you why because I eat based off of emotions and I need to stop doing that. That’s the main reason I gained weight last year, I was depressed and lonely and all I did literally was eat and eat when I wasn’t even hungry and I put on weight rapidly.
I need to make a schedule and put in time for prayer, weight watchers meetings and exercise, those are the most important things that make my weight loss successful. I have to pray about this. I plan on working out by doing some taebo tomorrow. I gotta do it, if not in the morning then in the afternoon.
One thing that bothers me is, I always feel like I need to represent for other Black women and there is a stereotype that Black women are all overweight and obese. I think this is because of the ole mammy caricature, which portrays Black women as obese, unattractive and asexual. It is true that Black women do struggle with obesity, but America in general is overweight, but for some reason Black women get stuck with this stereotype. Yes, Black women have been hit hard by the obesity epidemic and we always get hit the hardest with every epidemic and the main reason for that is because of racism, abuse, stress and poor healthcare period. Black women have some of highest incidents of abuse, worst health care…all this affects Black women’s weight issues. You can read here that doctors have linked sexual abuse, racism with weight gain.
I’m sick of seeing movies like Norbit and Precious poke fun at overweight Black women, without understanding the real causes behind this obesity epidemic. But put all that aside, I am not one to endorse a stereotypes that I do not like and I have resources at my disposal, there is really no reason for me to be overweight. So, I feel like it’s my responsibility to take care of my body and not be overweight so that I can represent for Black women. So, it’s EXTREMELY distressful to me that I’ve gained this weight.
It’s upsetting to me because we already live in a society where being overweight is frowned upon, yet the majority of society is overweight anyway. But, Black women are always portrayed as being obese and unattractive (as if being obese is synonymous with being ugly?) and I HATE that stereotype, I can’t stand it and I don’t want to be associated with that!
I’m going to get this weight off, I know it and this time I’m going to go into LIFETIME membership of weight watchers! That is my goal!