Is the Negativity Killing You As a Black Woman?


I have to say, sometimes I think all the constant negativity in the media and in society has driven me a little insane as a black woman. I used to be outgoing, bubbly, but ever since I’ve become aware of the injustice of the world and the negativity that I face as a black woman, I noticed I’ve become increasingly depressed and negative.

Sometimes, its just too much. Experience racism and noticing the degradation of black women on a world wide scale can really do a number on someone’s spirit and mental health. It’s not good to constantly be exposed to such negativity. I don’t like the person that I’ve become sometimes. I just feel like my innocence has been lost. I try to be positive, but I can’t look at the world the way I used to.

Do you feel as a black woman that the negativity is killing your spirit?

What can we as black women do to fight the negativity that is directed at us, without being negative ourselves?

I can think of a few things:

1. Donate or help other black women, like poor black women or black women who are suffering from abuse. Ofcourse, we should help all people too. We should help all poor people and people who are suffering from abuse, but we can donate money to all people and also make sure to help black women who are suffering domestic abuse because black women are more likely to experience domestic abuse than any other group.

2. Help black women prisoners, black women are more likely to be incarcerated for longer sentences than non-black women and most of them commit non-violent crimes.

3. Support black women buisness

4. Support single black mothers

These are just a few pratical things we should do. I’m not saying support black women and no one else, I think we all know that all people, regardless of race need help from time to time, but  lets be real black women need special attention because frequently, black women tend to be overlooked when it comes to needing help and support.

I don’t want to be a bitter, angry, idle woman who sits around and complains and never gets anything done, I don’t.  I want to be a loving person who helps ALL people and especially black women because they’re already a marginalized group.


I guess I just think I could be doing more productive things than just ranting all the time and besides, its taking a toll on my mental and emotional health. I can’t be cursing, ranting and angry at every little thing, it will kill my spirit.

I also think its important that we focus on those who do love us. Our families, God, loved ones, friends and learn to love ourselves regardless. Understand our value and worth. Black women were made in God’s image, just the same as everyone else (atleast I believe so) and we have a right to be valued and loved just the same as anyone else.

But, its important to be positive, I’ve been called out on other blog/forum about being too negative and I admit sometimes I am negative, but I don’t mean to hurt anyone and I just want to see black women and people in general get the dignity and respect they deserve.

5 thoughts on “Is the Negativity Killing You As a Black Woman?”

  1. I think you’ve just described in this post, at least in part, the process of how many – not all – black females come to develop an “attitude.” Much of it of course is due to racism/white supremacy and the apparent inability of black men to protect and shield black women from the insidious harm racism has on their psyches. It’s really hard not to be angry, and to not have an “attitude.” It requires a monumental effort to be positive and keeping one’s Spirit alive. It’s a daily battle, especially for those of us who live in black skin.

    Keep up the good fight. Don’t let nothing or no one ever kill your Spirit! The universe and all of creation is on your side, in spite how lopsided the situation appears to be.


  2. I understand you , cause i constantly feel the same.

    And what makes me feel worse is when i describe this feeling or experiences my black women friends and me had in life, people simply dont believe…And I can define it in 2 reactions:

    1. Who listen what i say, get so shocked saying im overreacting, that these facts of black women are changed, white women suffer the same way (waaaat?). Im not saying they dont have problems, but can i call ignorant who says it??, cause normally, everybody says im crazy.

    2.” You shouldn’t feel like this,, honey, You are black, but you are beautiful!” “You are lucky (and selfish?) to dont be in worse situation”….”Dont care about these people that treats u like this” ,…..???

    And thank you for the links with base for the affirmations, cause people still dont see the group of black women in society as a group with less chances than others.

    We need a lot of strenght and psychologic balance to dont get easily on depression.


    1. you’re welcome. I understand how you feel. there is nothing more FRUSTRATING than telling people that things are messed up and they don’t care or take you seriously. THE WORST is when they tell you “well, I don’t see that or experience that.” Umm…Just because YOU don’t experience something doesn’t mean other people don’t and it doesn’t mean it’s not true.

      I mean, I remember a couple years ago there was all this verbal abuse towards black women on youtube, literally hundreds and hundreds of videos out. A lot of people complained, no one cared. There was even an incident where a black girl Asia McGowan was murdered by a youtuber who called himself Tony. Tony had made video after video ranting about how evil black women were and he also attacked atheists. but when the media covered the murder-suicide the ONLY mentioned that Tony had made rants against atheists…they completely excluded Black women, which is ODD because he MURDERED a black woman…for no reason…you can check out the article yourself:

      then there was another video on youtube some years later by a white female and in it she said something to the effect of “i’ve never seen these videos by black men bashing black women,” and most black women who are speaking about these videos are basically just against white women and black men dating eachother…or some foolishnes.

      What upset me about that is that people think that just because they don’t experience something that it doesn’t exist. the white woman who made that comment (her video has since been taken down) had the privilege of not having to be concerend with all the vitriol HATRED and verbal ABUSE against black women (mostly by black men) on youtube because she’s a white female period. she doesn’t have to see it because it doesn’t affect her, but we see it because it effects us. everyday that we go out into the world we have to deal with the stereotype of being angry, ugly, lazy and stupid just by virture of the fact that we have brown skin and kinky hair. I don’t see people putting out studies on “why white women are objectively the least attractive,” no that’s something that black women have to deal with.

      white women, white men, asian men, and all other groups have the privilege of not having to see what we go through because it doesn’t effect them plain and simple. so because it doesn’t affect them, they think it doesn’t exist…when for us we know it to be true that not only does this systematic discrimination exists, but it’s the bane of our existence.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s