We live in a world that is saturated with sex. Everywhere I look I see sex and sexual innuendos. You look at commercials and the ideal woman is portrayed as a half-dressed vixen who uses her sexual prowess to ‘control’ and ‘captivate’ her man. It’s a constant struggle for me to remain obedient to God when it comes to sex, lust and temptation.
There is a part of me that desires to be sexually intimate, I can’t deny it. God created us as sexual beings afterall. Genesis 1:28 says, “Be Fruitful and multiply,” and this is a commandment of God. It’s natural to want intimacy, however God also wants us to share that intimacy with our husband only. I know God wants us to have a fufilling and fruitful life and this is why he commands that we have sex within marriage. I trust God and I know he just wants to keep us safe and protect us from STDs, heartbreak, pregnanices we’re not ready for… and other complicated issues that CAN result from sex outside of marriage. However, I still struggle despite knowing all these things.
I have read the book Every Young Woman’s Battle and it’s a great book. It does a great job of demonstrating the beauty of sex when its within the confines of marriage. The book does a good job of demonstrating the importance of guarding your mind and heart. The thing is, I read the book when I was somewhat young, about 15. Now that I’m a young adult, I face different temptations than I did as a teenager. I struggle with lust and fantasies that I know I shouldn’t have and yes, I’ve struggled with ‘masturbation.’
Although, I’m a virgin and I hope to wait until marriage, its hard. These days it seems like everyone is having sex and it seems like its even harder to get into a relationship without being sexual these days. It’s a constant struggle to say the least. A struggle that really requires constant prayer, even when you don’t want to.
The fact is I just crave the intimacy of the act itself, its not so much the physical pleasure that I crave, although that is part of it, it’s the intimacy of it. The connection and attachment. However, I know that sleeping with a man, in reality, DOES NOT bring you any closer to him, despite what you may think.
One important thing I learned from the book is that if you feel like you need to be in a relationship to complete you, then you’re really not ready to be in a relationship at all. I think about that a lot. I shouldn’t rely on intimacy or sex to feel complete and happy, this tells me that I’m really not ready to be in a relationship. I know that if I crack and have sex with a guy just to get it over with, ultimately it would be a fruitless endeavor for me. Sure, it might feel good for a few minutes, but after that life is going to keep going and all I will be left with is a broken heart and a sore body perhaps…I want to honor God and keep my body and mind pure. I want to share my intimate moment with my husband.
I don’t believe God is out to be a party pooper and I don’t think that he gives us these feelings and desire and tells us not to unleash them within the confines of marriage to be a meany. He does this because he cares for us and loves us. When we have sex outside of marriage or with multiple people we open ourselves up to a lot of things that sometimes we don’t want. We open ourselves up to the possibility of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, pain and heart ache.
I’m Sure, some will be reading this and thinking…”i’ve had sex, nothing bad happened,” but for me it’s important to honor God and trust that he knows what is best for us. Everyone feels temptation and lust, but I trust God enough to want to at least try to keep his word as best as I can. I pray that God will take away the lust and help me to stop engaging in lustful actions and thoughts. In truth, I never truly feel good after giving in to temptation. Maybe for a second, I feel physically good, but after that life just goes back to normal and its never worth it, it just makes it that much harder to resist temptation when it comes to being around a handsome, smooth talking guy and I just don’t want to go down that route.
I will probably read “Every Young Woman’s Battle Again,” and pray on it more this time because now that I’m older, I face a different temptation than I did when I was younger. The book would probably mean more to me this time. I think we all fall into temptation, no matter what you personally have done, just remember God loves you and you can always turn to him for guidance. Even if you go further than you intended, don’t be afraid to turn to God and ask for forgiveness and you’ll find it.